I walk into the suspension party and I am early, I got there after work. I'm a nervous wreck, my stomach is in knots, I'm shaking. I met a few people, suzanne who made me feel comfortable as I knew no one there.
At A Glance Author Miss Ammunition Contact inkbitch81@yahoo.com When A month ago Artist 313 Suspension Team Studio 11/11/2006 Suspension Party Location Chicago, IL Then the team arrives and also my best friend tiffani. I watch them set up for the suspensions and get even more antsy. I eventually started talking to people and found out that only 2 girls actually have done this before. The rest were as new as me.
I watch some people get pierced and suspended and start to feel better. They look happy and peaceful. I kept lewis and mom (both deceased) in mind the whole time.
It was my time to go up and get pierced. I lied down on the massage table, Steve Bennett with 313 suspension Team, walked me through breathing exercises and eventually but 4 8 guage hooks in my back. 2 people piercing at a time. So it went fast, didn't feel that painful honestly and I felt wonderful when I sat up and looked at everyone. I was halfway through! I felt beautiful, having these 4 hooks in my back. Everyone was supportive and it made me feel great. I broke in the shakes really bad because of the adrenaline rush in my body. Endorphins were all over the place, I wasn't dizzy, just naturally high and shaking.
So time goes by and its my time to get rigged to the brass knuckels I was to be suspended off of. The Dj was even going to play my favorite song by Terrorfakt once I was hanging in midair.
So I'm getting rigged and Steve walks me through getting comfortable with the pulling. I sway forward and backward, side to side while more tension builds on my hooks. I start to get really nervous now after I thought all that disappeared. I took my shoes off and started to bend my knees to get more tension. It was starting to feel strangly good. Then steve said whenever your ready. I said go for it. They pulled me so that I was hanging 3-4 feet off of the ground. I had flashbacks of my friends and family that died. Time stopped for that moment I was up there with burning and pulling at my flesh. My entire body weight hanging from four hooks I felt the most vulnerable in my life. I was still and peaceful. Although there was music blaring, I felt the room was quiet.
Everyone was taking pictures and cheering, I did it. Time was moving around me and stopped inside me. It was the most peaceful moment in my life.
Then I started to feel overwhelmed, endorphins shall I say? I'm not sure. I had to come down. They let me down and I felt the high everyone talks about. I felt like I had just smoked the best bowl of weed in my entire life. I was in exstacy!! I was giggly, almost deliriously happy. I didn't stay up as long as the other girls, but this was actually the first thing I have ever done from start to finish. That has always been a problem in my life.
I wanted to try going back up, but it was getting late and I had engagements planned that I had to attend to.
I truly feel like I accomplished something for the short time I was up there. I conquered all my demons trying to stop me from finishing and did it. I was up there for Lewis, for my mom, and for Myself..
Now, I can barely walk or lay down, my 8 hook holes are killing me and taking a warm shower sure as hell hurt. But each wince of pain reminds me of my experience last night and it is all worth it.
Even though I didn't stay up as long as I thought I would, everyone was extremely supportive and congratulated me on my accomplishment. I recieved an email the next day from The 313 Suspension Team and now am a member. I am proud to be a member of such a great group of people and look forward to my future suspensions.
Waking up the next day, although sore, left me in great spirits. I posted pictures on my site and wrote journals of my experience. Even coming to this site helped me through some of my apprehensiveness when I read of such great experiences. I look forward to contributing more in my future suspensions.
Who would have known driving 4 hooks into my back would have been as therapeutic as it was. Suspension shown me that I can battle internal demons, finish anything I start, and can obtain peace. Once you put yourself into a peaceful mindset with proper breathing, it is then you can suspend.
Thank you 313 suspension team!