Three years ago, I was invited to stay with an old college pal in Buffalo, New York. Being from Rochester, the commute was not horrible by any means. My girlfriend, Cait, lived with her childhood friend Daphna and it just so happened that the time I was visiting coincided with an intimate BME get-together to be held at the apartment. They were having a fellow from Toronto come to actually conduct the flesh-pulling bit and all. Never having seen anything of like, before, I opted to do what I do best, as a filmmaker: be a voyeur.
At A Glance Author cl0ckworkorange Contact cl0ckworkorange@bme.anon When Five years ago Artist Some feller in Toronto... I know he's on BME Studio My friend Daphna's and Cait's apartment Location Buffalo, NY Before the actual event, I had met briefly with everyone involved. Everyone involved had met through BME and it was their first time meeting each other, as well. There was this interesting energy among the entire group that was above my head at the time. It was this sense of complete trust and an opening of this inner self... the best way I can describe it is wonderfully child-like. An immediate trust and affinity between virtual strangers that were planning to connect on an incredibly intimate level. It was heady to be around them. Perhaps it was being in this group mindset that enabled them to openly accept me as a complete stranger and welcome me to watch as they partook in this deeply personal procedure. At the time, I didn't realize what an honor it was, honestly.
The night of the event, I spent about an hour in the neighboring upstairs apartment, admittedly, getting high as a kite. Perhaps that had something to do with me lowering my psychic guard. Perhaps that enabled me to loosen up around this intense group of people. I honestly don't place that much stock in the fact that I was high at the time. But I won't deny it as being a factor in what was to come, either.
By the time I was done upstairs, I returned downstairs to find that the hooks were going through the skin. Daphna had some music playing and everyone was pretty laid back at this point. There was some talking and joking going on. I, myself, was transfixed with the hooks piercing the skin. I studied everyone's faces as the hooks penetrated and found them to be quite serene. It seemed as though everyone had reached this deep meditative state where pain was not a hindrance or even nonexistent... pain transmutated into this awesome gateway into a place, deeply seated in the subconscious. It was exquisite.
There was two partners that were taking place in the event: two boys and a girl and a boy. The two boys went first and I was transfixed as I watched the skin on their backs begin to go taut and tent out. Once again, I found myself drawn to the one boy's face I could see. It was at peace. Daphna and the young man who pierced the boys were working as coaches, telling them when to step apart and standing beside the participants, watching for any signs of extreme changes in the color of the face. I can't really comment on time as an element here, though. I have no idea how long this took. It could have been thirty seconds. It could have been ten minutes. It could have been a half hour. It all seemed to glide along on a different plane.
The boy in the next pairing that was set to go had a song picked out that he wanted to hear as they conducted the pulling. Daphna put it in the CD player, and the pulling began. Starring at this boy's face, however, I began to feel something much different than I had felt all evening. I started to zone out into his face and suddenly this exquisite pleasure seemed to course through my body. It's the feeling of a shitload of endorphins rushing through your bloodstream and giving you almost an exquisite sexual release. In that instance, I realized I was having a sympathetic experience with the boy I was looking at. Everything that was visual suddenly became much more tangible. My breathing took a different course and suddenly became much more rhythmic. I could feel this wonderful burn in my upper back and started to close my eyes. Just as I closed my eyes I was suddenly aware of the music playing in the background... sickeningly so, in fact. All of the sudden, my entire body broke out into a cold sweat and just as I was about to ask if we could turn the music down, the boy spat out for someone to turn the music off.
Shortly after the music was turned off, I felt my knees go weak and all the color rush from my face. I collapsed to the ground and sat there, my head extremely loose on my neck and my stomach extremely queasy. Just then I heard Daphna yell out that he was going down and to sit the other girl down immediately. He fainted. I was ready to yak when I opened my eyes and watch the boy, now seated on the ground and with Daphna's full attention. He then threw-up and was peachy keen.
The next morning was perhaps even more interesting. I had convinced myself that this sympathetic experience was something that I alone had been involved in. However, there was this odd bond between me and the boy who had fainted the next morning. It is hard for me to describe, but it was as two lovers shyly pass gazes and find ways to touch each other in the company of others the morning after.
A brief note about this essay:
I realize that I could have written about a number of piercings and tattoos and brandings that all have these beautiful and extraordinary and sometimes hysterical stories. But I chose this one. I chose it because this is why I want to join the site. I have yet to participate in a flesh pulling, and yet I have dreamed of as much ever since this experience. All in due time.