First I want to share my experience from this last Saturday. Little did I know I would find blood letting a freedom, release and art? Although I feel like it chose me instead of the other way around!
At A Glance Author ~Phoenix~ Contact ~Phoenix~@bme.anon When It just happened Artist Self/Partner Studio home bedroom Location South Fl
It all started Saturday my lover/husband/partner would have some down time for our wonderful, but completely engrossing child. We needed a release, escape. Only those who have kids my have an idea of the type of desperation I am talking about!!! You love them. But need personal time as well.
We decided to have a night filled with sex, illicit shamanic experience and pure ecstatic decadence. (This not being our first experience with this. we knew very well what we are getting into). The night was filled with great sex, wonderful music but a " normal" feel from our extensive experience in this state.
That is where it dawns on me, " go into the things you fear!" I instantly felt compelled to have my lover slowly insert a hypodermic into my vein and draw blood. Or even just let it flow out in it's over river like fashion.
I instantly sat up and approached my partner with the proposition. (Being overwhelmed with the thought of rejection I proceeded). So in my ecstatic stupor and enlighten at the same time... I ask. " Could you or would you draw blood from my veins?) To my surprise is acceded my request. Although addressing he as well was in an altered state!
I did not care; I needed the experience of pain, the experience of my personal challenge of moving through fear. The act of being free... free of limitation society and I has placed upon myself.
With that in mind I ready myself and looked around my home on what I could find as supplies. I remembered about two years ago I have stored some miscellaneous first aid material. Excited at the new possibility I found a sealed bran new 18 G needle, and a .5 cc syringe. I even had alcohol prep pads. I settled myself down on the bed and instantly got giddy about what was going to happen. I tied off above my elbow and pumped my hand to find the vein on my right forearm. My partner proceeds. But then backs off and lets me know he is to ephemeral to go one. But will in a little.
Slightly disappointed. I instantly empower myself to do it myself. (I have no experience with phlebotomy so this is really new to me!). So I grab the needle with my left hand (I am also right handed), tighten the tourniquet. I look at my beautiful blue greenish vein and I proceeded to guide this pink hubbed needle into my arm. It was awesome, magical. Feeling the slow slicing of the bevel edge pushing through. Then it hitting the vein almost with a slight bounce to it. I stop and look down. Watching the beautiful blood roll out, then pour out more. WOW I felt so elated and happy. The intensity of sensation. I just stood there and watch the blood pull and run down my arm to my leg. That's when my partner did the most unexpected thing. He looks at me and slowly reached over and licks the blood running from my arm. (He is also the father of my child). I was soo instantly turned on about that. Slowly putting his finger into the polling blood and then running in on his face in tribal marking. All of the sudden everything in the world felt right. I then folded up my arm and stared and floated in the amazement of this experience. It turned out better than I could imagine!! At that point I decided I wanted to do it again. This time with more confidence and glee. The wonderful scene was repeated. I instantly realize I LOVE needle play and playing with my blood. It is extremely beautiful, and free...
Eventually towards the wee hours of the morning my partner proceeded to draw blood from the other side. The feeling of the needle sliding in and having him hold my arm firmly was an experience in it self. I never knew I could feel so close to my lover. It brought out relationship to a while new high. I have always read the great experience here on BME. But never thought I could do it. I defiantly proved myself wrong in a very pleasurably way.
The next day I happily looked down at bend of my forearm smiling the small prick marks and smiling at my newfound joy. I feel more parts of myself are loved and reunited. No longer this fear or needles, blood and all the " scary stuff" society tried to feed us. Instead a great sense of freedom, pleasure and accomplishment.
Now I look forward to buying a pack for disposable needle supplies (also a smaller needles) and have my little " freedom box" by my bed side so when the urge arises. I am truly happy I found someone who is as accepting and supportive of it as well!!!
I would suggest this to those in a safe relationship, with those who are mindful, and aware on who to handle hypodermic and the safety that goes around it. Unlike my self. Something just told that I knew what I was doing. Be it my guides, my goddess or alter self. I was not alone on this journey!