Modification has always been a part of my life. Since I was a very young boy, I was always very interested in piercings and tattoos, despite my parents' strong objection to it. My parents are so against it, in fact, that I have been kicked out of the house just about every time I get a new mod. Thankfully, I have good supportive friends. One of these friends is my good friend Matt who I have been friends with since elementary school, and he introduced me to suspension and serious modification.
At A Glance Author Miyagi Contact Miyagi@bme.anon IAM Giossi When A week ago Artist ROP Location RI Suspension is something he had been very much into for awhile and I was very attracted to the idea of also suspending. Through matt I was able to meet and become friends with Craig (iam:darkncrazy) and Frank (iam:frank_prov) of Rites of Passage. Over time we all became very good friends and the talk of suspension was always a common topic. I was so interested in just knowing everything I could. Thankfully they were more then happy to feed my curiosity. Things in my life over the last year had been going very bad and I was in a really bad place in my head. I had witnessed a new kind of depression in my life a sense of loss in everything and found that joy and happiness for me were empty. I couldn't be happy. Since meeting Craig and Frank and Lisa and everyone else that I had the privilege of connecting to, my life was feeling like it was turning around and I was learning again to trust people and be happy with who I am and the world around me--they gave me constant inspiration.
Doing a suspension for me was a rebirth in a way, the beginning of a new life or at least the destruction of the old one. I can remember the first time I brought up that I was serious about wanting to suspend and it was to, of course, Matt. I told him I wanted to suspend. He was quite pleased and said that we would have to talk to Craig and Frank. Lucky for me that week was new years and everyone was going to be at Craig's I thought it would be a good time to bring it up and get some feed back and see what could be done. My birthday was February 7th and I thought that would be a good time to do it then. It would be a new year and a new age. I asked Frank and Craig, and they were more then happy to help me out and also agreed that a birthday suspension sounded like a good idea.
Over the course of the next month, I was just reading as much as I could and asking questions, lots and lots of questions. I was very happy to find out that my friend Lisa (iam:gracebudd) was also going to be suspending the same day. Time passed by so fast that month and all of a sudden the day had come. I spent the morning in quiet reflection and meditation. I met up with Matt and went to the place. When I walked in the door, Lisa was sitting right there listening to music and the first girl was in the other room doing her suspension. My blood was rushing--I was filled with excitement.
It was Lisa's turn and honestly, she was truly an inspiration to watch. She went right up with no trouble and so fast also. She was up in less then 5 minutes, probably. As soon as she went up and I watched her, I knew I could do it, and all doubt faded from my head. All at once it was my turn. I went into the back and got my hooks thrown which was a very different experience. They set up and told me to breath then bang the first two hooks were in. It really didn't hurt that bad at all--just a pinch and a warm feeling. I didn't even need a break for the second set so they just threw the second set in. I had 4 hooks in my back and I felt great.
They brought me up to the rig, and they strung me up. I began to bend my knees so that I could feel a little what I was about to do. My body would not let me bend my knees that far at all. Frank and Craig decided that they would walk me up. Frank took my hands and began to walk me forward. The rope was pulled tighter and I began to walk back. I could feel the pain increase. The different feeling was all pain I had felt in my life up to that point had backed off by this time, but the pain just kept coming and getting more and more intense. Frank walked me forward one more time and back and then I was off the ground.
Everything turned off I could no longer hear anything or see anything all there was, was pain. I was screaming in my head and then I felt Frank touch my arm "Mike....Mike... The pain will pass. Stay with it." All I could hear was Frank telling me it would pass. The pain started fading after a few minutes and I was swinging around. No feeling compares to swinging. I was so happy. I was just smiling and having a great time Craig even pushed me around a few times. I learned how to control my swinging and spins and direction I was going. Mudvayn was blasting in the background and I was in another world. I was flying. I was up for just over a half an hour and then it was time to come down. Not because of pain or anything but just because somehow I knew it was just time.
When my feet first hit the floor, I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. The hooks got taken out and the air was bled out, which felt actually great. As fast as it had come, it was over. My mind was filled with a million different thoughts. I was smiling and couldn't stop. I was so happy, so very happy. beyond anything I had felt before. I couldn't even describe it to anyone. Whenever I would try to say anything, too many words came out all at once. I spent the next few days in reflection and was brought to tears on one occasion, just out of joy and acceptance. I am filled with a feeling of inner peace, happiness, and power, a feeling of being able to do anything I set my mind to.
I am different now in my own way I have never felt this way. Even now, almost a week later, I am still sorting out my exact thoughts. I got more then I could have ever wanted out of this experience and I would definately do it again. To Craig and Frank, I want to thank both of you for not only suspending me but also for being just awesome, supportive friends. To Lisa, you were an inspiration, thank you. Jon Ho, thank you also for being there and holding me up. I view myself as being one of the luckiest people I know, just because of my good friends. I am nothing without them and they mean more to me than my own family. They are all a constant inspiration and are so supportive. This is my new life, I feel happiness now that I have not felt in a very long time.