I remember the first time I saw pictures of a pull... I was with my best friend Kel and she took me over to Brodie's. He had pics of his pull up at Sean's house. I also remember saying I would never be "hardcore" enough to do it. I would leave it to the strong- it wasn't something I could handle. That all changed when Kel told me about her first pull. She wasn't happy with the way it went and wanted to have a second chance to get what she wanted from it. She had some real reasons for wanting to pull- and I had some real reasons for not wanting for her to go through it alone. So, I told her that I was going to pull with her. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
At A Glance Author Missa Bear Contact Missa Bear@bme.anon When A year ago Artist Sean Phillips Brodie, Kel and I headed up to April and Sean's... On the way up, it hit me- I was actually going to go beyond my normal "pierce me, please! I need a pain fix." I am a wuss- I tend to freak when someone comes at me with a needle. I get pierced to deal with that fear, in part. I also tend to need a physical release in times of stress- good or bad- and though I didn't know why when I started with my piercings and tattoos- the pain associated with piercings always gave me the release I needed. These were just needles right? These were hooks, but how were they really different from jewelry. I tried to pysch myself out but,as the car ride went on and on, I just worked myself up! I had to force myself to focus on why I was doing it- I love Kel and she needed me. The last thing I could do was back out of this. I managed to get myself quietly worked up in the backseat of Brodie's car.
When we arrived at the house, Sean picked on me- as usual. April helped wind me down, so when it came time to the actual hooking, I wasn't too bad off. I am not sure how many cigarettes I smoked- but I am sure that it was alot. When I went into the piercing room, I about geeked-I had never had to lie on my stomach for a piercing. I felt so completely out of control- I couldn't even see what was going on! Needless to say, I drove Sean up the wall. But, I got through it, two hooks in my back- and then the fun began. I went back and smoked another cigarette with April. It was really cool that even though I was being such a pussy about it all that nobody was putting me down for it. It seemed like everyone understood why I was acting so nervous and that it was ok. I guess it was.
Kel and I stood and pulled for a bit- but facing away from each other made it hard to talk. We wrapped ourselves around the poll and sat our butts down. I don't know how long we sat and talked and smoked before Brodie and Sean came downstairs- but it was amazing.
Brodie asked me what it felt like for me- I told him that it felt as though I had sprouted wings. I was so proud of myself for being able to do it. It also felt incredible to have people around me that understood how much it meant to me. I found out later that Brodie didn't think I would do it. It still makes me feel good that I proved him wrong- and proved to myself that I could do things that seemed beyond my grasp and ability.
Kel and I unwrapped so she could pull against the poll on her own. She was afraid of hurting me- and she wanted to pull hard. So, I spent the rest of the time taking pics of her and talking to Brodie, Sean, Kiel and April. The more time I spent talking to them about pulling and suspending, the more I came to understand the *why* about it all. And the more I realized that I had come away with a whole new respect for the rituals. It was an experience that could never be duplicated and never be taken away. It may seem a small feat, but I beat something that night- I knew that I could and would do whatever it took for my best friend to be happy. It might have been small- but it once seemed so big. Nothing could keep me from doing more. Making my friends happy is one of the most important things to me- it makes me happy. And, surprisingly, so did pulling. Killed two birds with one stone that night. Once the hooks were out, I knew it wouldn't be the last time I would have them in. The sensation was incredible, the people wonderful and the things I learned about myself that night- priceless.