I'd done two suspensions in the past, but this was possibly the last chance I'd get to for a while as I'm moving away. I wanted to do something special. I wanted to do my knees. Every picture I'd seen of knee suspensions looked incredible and I wanted to try. Looking on BME there were only a couple of experiences, so I was largely entering the unknown.
At A Glance Author Matt Contact Matt@bme.anon IAM Twiggy_Rocks When A week ago Artist Vampy/Sarge/The Metal Fatigue Collective Studio Metal Fatigue Suscon 2 Location Norwich The weekend of the meet (Metal Fatigue Suscon 2) was a strange one, I was having doubts, as I usually do, but after a bit of an awakening through drugs the night before, I woke up ready to do it. I wouldn't recommend this for other people, you should be well rested before putting your body through something big like a suspension, which means a good nights sleep, no drink and no drugs, but this is just my personal experience. Suscon was another huge success, thanks to Vampy and Sarge and after seeing a couple of people go up I felt I was ready.
Hooking up was surprisingly painless, I find getting my back pierced for suicide suspensions quite uncomfortable, but the needles seemed to just glide through my skin. Hook placement had been a bit of an issue. To relieve stress per hook I'd been advised that four hooks per leg would be good, but when finding room for them they pinched a lot so we settled on three, one on each side of the knee and one above.
With my hooks in place I felt happy. Some people like to go up straight away, while the endorphins are still working, but I prefer to relax for a bit, so I danced around, loving how my new piercings felt and looked. I squatted down a couple of times, bending my knees as much as possible, to get an idea of how the pressure would feel and to see the hooks pull and raise the skin. They were beautiful.
After about quarter of an hour I was ready to go up. We were unsure of how we were going to get me in the air, after seeing Vampy try and fail to get up from a lying position I knew that wouldn't be the way. We toyed with the idea of a makeshift harness, so I could lift myself, but it was difficult and a bit painful. Lifting a lowering me into it seemed like it would be best way to go.
We sat me down on a barstool, ready to attach my knees to the rigging. This is where things started to get hectic for me. Because I'd put my hooks through stress and moved around with them in they'd moved and bled a little, no big deal I thought. But the blood was congealing, which made moving them to attach them to the rigging hurt. Just a little at first, but when the ropes were pulled tight they hurt a lot. Pain swept through my body and with it came panic. Could I do this? For the first time I questioned myself. The thought of being beaten crushed me. Some people suspend for spiritual reasons, but I use them to test myself – 'if I can get through this, then there's nothing I can't do', so to get these close only to be defeated tore me up inside and I started to cry.
Gretel comforted me whilst Vampy cleaned the blood from around the hooks. I was going to get through this; I just needed to calm my head. Another couple of minutes and I was ready.
We lifted me up, a little higher and then re-positioned the stool. It was time to go. Slowly I was lifted up and being lowered into a vertical position. I blocked out almost everything around me, not through choice, but my mind seemed to find its calm place. I was aware of the music playing and Vampy's voice, and I could feel a great vibe from people around me, but that was it.
I thought I was vertical before I actually was, there's a point where my legs were taking most of my weight. "Just a couple more inches" I heard and then I was free. My knees pulled tight and hurt. I shouted that if people wanted pictures they were to take them quickly before I came down. And then it swept over me. I could feel heat spreading through my knees as endorphins spread through them but no pain. Just peace.
Being upside down is very disorientating. I had no idea which way I was facing; my brain couldn't work it out. I hung still for a bit before being spun around to see the people that helped me up. Being suspended by the knees is pretty comfortable, the problem I had with suicide suspensions is that they made breathing uncomfortable, but hanging from the knees as none of that. You don't notice the blood running to your head either.
At the time I had no idea how long I was up, but watching the video it seemed like 15-20 minutes. The only reason I came down was because my lower back was starting to hurt, but I'm not sure if that was because of the suspension itself, as I do have a problem with my lower back.
Coming down I was lowered onto my shoulders, then my back till I was lying on the floor. I was totally wiped out; it had been such in incredible experience. I lay on my back for about five minutes before I could stand, and when I got up to be unhooked my knees bleed, but not too badly.
For the next couple of days my knees were bruised and sore, but not unbearably so. I could walk; I'd just been slowed down a little, putting pressure on my knees hurt, knocking them on things would be a sharp reminder. Pretty much all pain had passed after a couple of days.
At the time of writing this it's been about two weeks since I suspended. I'm left with beautiful scars and great memories. Both will stay with me for the rest of my life.