At A Glance
Author	vampy
Contact	vampy@vampy.co.uk
IAM	vampy
When	It just happened
Artist	vampy
Studio	metal fatigue
Location	bournemouth, UK

It was a quiet day in the shop, so I took the time to tidy up my piercing kit. On doing so I discovered the 2.4mm skewer that I'd been lent a couple of months previously. I've seen a couple of shows and several TV programs where people had skewered their cheeks, and I was told it was pretty painless, but having a low pain threshold, I thought it was something I'd never be able to do. Until recently, I've never had the courage to pierce myself. When being pierced I usually just sit back and close my eyes and panic until it is over.

About six months ago, after 5 years of devouring the content of BME, I got the chance to learn how to pierce, and after doing several piercings on other people, I did a temporary surface piercing on my ankle, which was pretty much pain-free. More recently I adjusted the placement of my triangle piercing myself (albeit with anaesthetic).

Neither of these experiences was particularly painful, and piercing myself actually made me panic less, as my mind was focused on hygiene and procedure rather than the pain I was to feel.

So I decided to try to put the skewer through my cheeks. Even once I'd told Sarge (who kindly let me use his studio) that I wanted to do it, I wasn't convinced that I'd be able to go through with it, but I wanted to at least have a try.

After the shop had closed to customers, I set out everything that I needed on a metal tray and moved it in front of the mirror. I decided to make marks where I was to pierce, even though it wasn't that critical. I stood in front of the mirror making strange faces until I found the right place, which was where my dimples would be if I had them, on the small crease that is made when I smile, level with the centre of the space between my teeth when my mouth is open.

The skewer was sharp enough for me to just push it through, but it was ground to a point, so piercing with it would be like using a very large safety pin, and would be pretty painful and cause a lot of trauma to the tissue, so I decided to do the piercings with 2.4mm blades and thread the skewer through afterwards. As I am right handed, I would have to pierce the right side of my mouth from the outside in, and the left side from the inside out.

I decided to use clamps, as even though they aren't strictly necessary, they would probably make it easier for a self-piercing. I decided to do the left hand side first, so the sharp end of the needle would be on the outside, and I could put a cork on it while piercing the other side. I put the clamps on and picked the needle up. At this point I realised that it wouldn't be very easy to pierce from the inside of my mouth, as my hands would get in the way, and there was a change I'd needlestick the inside of my mouth.

So I decided to do the piercing from the outside too. I wouldn't be able to use a normal blade, as then I'd not be able to follow it through with the skewer, so I found a 2.4mm cannula. The blades I'd planned to use were made by Industrial Strength, and are very sharp with a long bevel, and they make piercing at larger gauges so much easier. The cannula, while sharp, was more steeply bevelled, so I didn't really want to use it, but decided to have a go anyway.

I put the clamps on, lined up the needle with the mark, and started to push. I could feel the tip of the needle going in, but it wasn't really that painful. I got the needle about halfway through, and just couldn't get it to go any further. I pushed as hard as I could (which probably wasn't that hard, as I was trying to pierce the left side of my face with my right hand). If I'd have been on my own, I'd have spent a few minutes sitting there slowly pushing the needle through, but as Sarge was sitting in the next room, I called him in and asked for help. He took the needle and pushed it through with one shove, which was pretty painful, but not unbearable.

With the sheath of the cannula in my cheek, I played around with it, blowing air out of it and stuff. As I went over to the tray to put down the needle I'd used, I noticed the pristine blob of technicare on the edge of the tray. No wonder it was so hard, I'd forgotten to lube the needle! I thought about doing the other side immediately, but decided to chill out for a bit first. Unfortunately, while I was talking the inside end of the cannula lost itself in the inside of my cheek. Sarge and I both had a go at pushing it through, but he didn't want to hurt me, and I was being a wuss, so we couldn't do it. I thought I could put the needle back into the sheath and push it through, but it was getting rather sore, so I didn't really want to. I was on the verge of just taking it out and giving up.

I could feel that the end was less than a millimetre under the skin inside my cheek, and realised that the end of my tongue is a lot more sensitive than my fingers, especially when wearing latex gloves. I held the outside of the sheath and manipulated the skin inside until the tube popped through again. There was a slight pinch, but nothing too bad, and it was my own fault for not making sure it was in enough.

Not wanting to make the same mistake again I made sure I could feel the plastic tube between my teeth, then got on with the other piercing. This time I was using the IS needle, and I remembered to put technicare on the needle before piercing. The piercing was still pretty tough, but much less painful. It probably took a couple of seconds for the needle to get all the way through, which is a lot longer than it normally takes me to do a piercing, but it was done, so I didn't care.

Diddy was watching me and taking photos, and at this point he asked me a question, and I realised I didn't want to move my tongue with a big needle sticking into my mouth, so I shoved a cork over the sharp end, which made talking pretty difficult, but much less dangerous!

The cork was incredibly annoying, so I wanted the skewer in as quickly as possible. I covered it liberally in technicare, then inserted it from right to left, removing the needle and cannula as I went. It felt heavy; I had to move it around until it was central so it didn't pull too much on one side.

Then I tried talking again. It would have been fine, except my tongue piercings kept getting caught on the bar! Next time I do it I will be sure to remove them first!

I also found that I couldn't swallow, which was probably a good thing, as when I rinsed my mouth out there was a small amount of blood, which I'd rather get rid of than swallow! After swilling my mouth round 3 or 4 times all traces of blood were gone, so I went and posed for a couple of photographs.

After a few minutes I decided to take it out, simply because I wanted to talk, and the continual catching of the bar on my tongue piercings was really annoying. Having the bar in wasn't painful at all, although smiling hurt a little.

After removing the bar, I rinsed my mouth with mouthwash and cleaned a small amount of blood from the outside. For some reason I had visions of there being blood running down my face when I removed it, but this wasn't the case at all, there were a few drops of blood from each hole, which I cleaned up, and I made sure I took a tissue with me in case they started bleeding again after I'd left.

The next morning the dots on the outside of my face are tiny, and the area around the piercings feels slightly bruised, but there's no real pain and no swelling. I'm planning to do this again at some point, as part of a stage show. If I do, I will probably ask Sarge to do the piercing for me, as then we can fit a needle over the end of the skewer and pierce both cheeks with the same needle in a single motion, as this will be a lot quicker and have more visual impact, but of course won't be as rewarding as doing it myself.

If this is something you're interested in doing, bear in mind a few things:

- what's been done with the skewer you're using previously? Most skewers are way too long to fit into an autoclave, so make sure it hasn't been used by anyone else if it can't be fully sterilised.
- self piercing in most instances is more dangerous and less hygienic than going to a professional. If you don't have the right equipment and sterile tools, go and see someone who does.
- If you have tongue piercings, take them out beforehand, or be prepared not to be able to talk.
- Once the skewer is in, don't play with it or let other people touch it, as any dirt that gets on it will be dragged back through the piercing.

If you've got any questions about this experience, please feel free to mail me on the above address.