I had long been interested in trying out play piercing, though had never got round to it. My partner doesn't like needles, and so while he said he would be prepared to try play-piercing me, I knew he was uncomfortable with the idea, and it was something to be left on the back-burner for the time being. However, I had also spent a lot of time discussing the subject with my friend Allan, who has a fair bit of experience of play-piercing, as well as being someone I trust. After a great deal of brainstorming about where (anatomically) I would like to be pierced, we both eventually settled on an intriguing and challenging idea: a corset piercing.
At A Glance Author Titanium Angel Contact Titanium Angel@bme.anon IAM titanium_angel When N/A Artist IAM:Bear Studio Andy's House Location The Wirral, U.K. Now, I would have done this entirely for the fun and aesthetics of it, I am becoming increasingly interested in corsetry, and so a pierced corset fitted in nicely with that aesthetic interest. However, as events unfolded, it became apparent that the piercing would take place on a rather significant weekend. As a teenager, I was sexually abused, and the weekend the piercing occurred happened to also be the 11th anniversary of the start of that abuse. I had taken the 10th anniversary particularly badly, and the following year had been a difficult one in many ways. I wanted to reclaim my body in some way, and after a failed attempt with labial piercings , and considering doing a flesh pull, but eventually backing out because I was not sufficiently mentally prepared, I started to consider ways in which this corset piercing, given its timing, was significant in such respects.
The abuse I suffered left me with a very negative view of myself, both in terms of self-esteem and in terms of my body image. While one of the attractions of a 'ritual' modification to me was testing my body's physical limits and proving to myself that I had the physical and mental strength to do things that most people would never dare to attempt, the idea of a corset piercing added a dimension of beautification, albeit temporary, that had been lacking in the pull I had previously considered. I also felt more comfortable with the privacy/intimacy of the play-piercing scenario, compared to the pull which would have taken place in public.
Long before the corset piercing was performed, I discussed the matter in great detail with my partner, explaining my reasons for wanting it, and checking that he was comfortable with the idea of a male friend piercing me. Allan and his partner Jane counselled me, checking that I was absolutely sure about going ahead with the piercing, thus making me think long and hard about the matter. One song kept sticking in my head through this time, 'Coming Back to Life' by Pink Floyd, especially the line "I knew the moment had arrived for killing the past and coming back to life". It summed up perfectly how I felt: I was ready to end my 'grieving' and get on with life, and the time was finally right.
Before the weekend of the piercing, I did a lot of serious thought about various relevant issues: my past problems, in particular, trying to reconcile some of the thoughts I had been going over again and again in the previous year. One of the things the piercing session would mark to me was an end to a negative year and to a longer negative phase in my life, and the start to a new, more positive outlook. I wrote down a lot of my thoughts, a sort of 'downloading' and 'purging' of those angry feelings and bad memories. This worked wonders for me, and I was very pleased that I could go into the piercing experience with a much clearer mind.
On the day of the piercing, I had a relaxing morning. I got up and showered with calming lavender aromatherapy products, and spent the morning relaxing and walking on the beach near Allan and Jane's house, watching seabirds and seals. After lunch (important for the purposes of not fainting), we packed up all that was needed (towels, clothes to wear for the piercing, needles, ribbon, gloves, etc.) and headed off to another friend, Andy's house, where the piercing would take place, stopping to pick up supplies of coca-cola on the way.
We put on a portable heater in the room where the piercing would take place so it would be nice and warm, and spent a while chatting to Andy, and playing with his adorable cats, until the time for the piercing came. I went into the room and got changed (after much thought on the matter, I settled for wearing a pair of shorts that were good and comfortable but that I didn't particularly mind getting dirtied with blood) and clipped my hair up out of the way (getting a calming whiff of lavender from my slightly damp hair in the process). Then Allan came into the room. It was a poignant moment. We gave each other a big hug, and got started.
The first thing was marking up. Allan measured my back, and marked 34 points for piercing on my back. Now at this point I will add that this corset piercing took a different form to those I had looked at on BME. The ones I had seen generally involved inserting the needles horizontally. Allan, instead, opted for a series of almost vertical piercings, which were 'woven' through the skin, so each needle went in and out twice, with a largish gap between the first exit point and the second entry point forming the 'eyelets' of a corset. It was an interesting format, more aesthetically pleasing than the usual kind, and I think it worked extremely well. Using a digital camera, Allan showed me the progress of the markings, and I was able to suggest a few potential changes based on how I visualised the placements. Ultimately, the changes incorporated added a few piercings, taking the total to 38: 19 on each side.
Once the marking was complete, we started on the piercings. These were done using 19g x 2" needles which were bought, sterile and pre-packaged from Weston's. The piercings were done in groups, usually six piercings followed by a short break for me to catch my breath and to drink a little cola to keep my blood sugar up, which was very much needed – at various points I was sweating and shaking somewhat (the outcome of this play-piercing was sexy, but a lot of the process was certainly not!). You can see an interim photo taken in one of the breaks here. Given the setting, it was not possible to have 100% sterility as you would have in a piercing studio, but it is possible to achieve a reasonable level of hygiene for play-piercing, ensuring the room is clean, and with regular glove changes, and care taken to avoid cross-contamination and so forth. I was sitting on a chair for the piercings, which felt quite unusual (the piercing studio I frequent always makes you lay down for piercings). Initially, Allan had visualised me standing for the lower ones, but I felt that would not be comfortable, and couldn't guarantee I could stay still enough, so ultimately those were done with me sitting, but leaning forwards as far as I could. As with the positioning issue, I was really pleased that my suggestions and concerns were taken on board. Not that I ever doubted it, it just further reinforced that my trust was not misplaced, and that my feelings and ideas counted (something I had certainly not felt a lot in the previous 11 years).
The top of my back didn't hurt as much as the lower piercings did, although the area around my shoulder blades was quite painful. In the lower back, particularly around the waist area, I could very much feel the passage of the needle under my skin, which was an interesting if slightly disturbing feeling. I also discovered that at various points, the pain radiated to bizarre places in my body: with some of the mid-upper back piercings, the pain radiated to my breasts; with some of the lower ones, the whole of my hip ached momentarily. The first one or two after a break were always the easiest to cope with, the last the most difficult. Allan found the right hand side easier to pierce than the left, though we failed to reach a conclusion as to whether this had anything to do with a past muscular injury down the left hand side of my back making it more tense.
If anything, the piercings hurt a little more than I had expected. At no point was it unbearable, though at some points, it was all I could do to limit the vocalisation of my pain to only squeaks, yelps and somewhat constipated sounding grunts rather than screams. In hindsight we probably made things harder for ourselves by piercing through the skin twice with each needle: the second half of each piercing was always more difficult, the second exit hole always the worst part. I grabbed a handkerchief during one of the brief breaks, and squeezed it as hard as I could during the more painful piercings. It helped a little bit, certainly it was better than nothing. Allan gave me encouraging words, often at just the right times when I was starting to feel a bit out of my depth, and that helped a great deal. During the breaks, I thought about some of the things that had happened in the past, (one of the things Allan said was "remember this is something you want for your body, unlike certain things in the past") and tears flowed down my cheeks, tears that no therapist I have seen as yet has managed to extract from me. In this particular situation, I felt sufficiently safe and ready to let go of those tears I have been bottling up for eleven years. I was entirely myself. It was an intensely liberating feeling.
When the piercings were finished, I felt a great sense of pride. I had done it. I stood up, very carefully because sudden movements were not particularly comfortable. Again, we took a break, and took some photos of the piercings, then after a few minor adjustments to make sure the needles were securely in place, it was time to do the lacing, for which we were using 5m of 7mm wide black satin ribbon, which proved to be ample for the purpose. I stayed standing up for this part, leaning against the back of a chair in case I felt woozy. We decided to lace from the top downwards, always right over left, nice and tidy looking. Allan used a small taper to depress the skin under the 'eyelet' part of the needles slightly to help the passage of the ribbon through. The pressure was sometimes a little uncomfortable, but the ribbon didn't hurt at all; if anything it tickled at times. Once the lacing was half done, Allan tightened the lacing a bit, and then carried on with lacing the bottom half. The whole lot was then tightened up. The lateral pull on the needles stung a little bit to start with, but then calmed down almost instantly.
Once the lacing was complete, Allan took lots of photos: it is, after all, important to fully document something that is only temporary and fleeting. I manoeuvred my body – very slowly indeed – into various positions: bending, stretching, twisting – so that the full effect of the piercings and lacing could be seen. You can see some of the photos in the BME ritual piercing section; here are some examples. There are also some more pictures on my IAM page.
Andy and his wife Khad came in to look at the corset before it was removed, declaring that it was 'beautiful', and then it was time to take the needles out. I have no idea how long the piercing took, or how long I kept the corset for, the whole event felt completely timeless to me.
Allan removed the needles almost painfully quickly, putting the needles into a container temporarily before they would be replaced in their protective sheaths and properly disposed of. He untied the bow in the ribbon, but left it in place, as the lacing would come undone naturally as the needles were removed. He started at the bottom, pulling them out two at a time. Very soon, there was a nice flow of blood trickling down my back, some holes bleeding more than others. The blood felt warm and slightly sticky, but as with my tears, it felt so liberating. I felt a great emotional release as the blood ran down my back and soaked into my shorts. After letting the blood flow for a while, Allan fetched some warm water and tissue and cleaned the blood off. I sat down and waited a while for the puncture holes to clot, which they did with ease, and I was totally overwhelmed, and pretty much speechless. I thanked Allan, but I couldn't find adequate words to tell him how much the experience meant to me. I am not sure I will ever find those words, but I hope he understands how much I value what was a great act of friendship.
The physical evidence of the piercing: some tiny raised bumps next to pinprick marks and some minor bruising in places (particularly in my lower back), lasted only a couple of weeks, but I have the photos, the ribbon which I gathered up and kept, and a record of the experience written in bed that night, as a lasting reminder of the day I let go of so many of the ties that bound me to the past and was totally me: and found that I was someone I was proud to be. I hope to continue my adventures in play piercing in the future, but I doubt anything will be able to match my corset piercing in terms of aesthetics and emotional intensity... though I'm always willing to be pleasantly surprised!
