At A Glance
Author	.white.
Contact	.white.@bme.anon
IAM	.white.
When	Three months ago
Artist	Myself
Studio	My Living Room
Location	Denver, Colorado

In life you have friends, and you have family. Friends are kept at arms length, and family is kept inside. The term family here is not just in reference to blood, but the people I choose as my family. Three months ago a man who I have considered my brother for 3 years became very sick. He wasn't having any bowel movements and was in constant pain, as week progressed he got worse and worse. The doctors were throwing around words like "cancer" and "crohn's disease" and I became increasingly worried about him as his appetite dwindled and he started losing weight. All I could do is stand by and watch him as this happened, my best friend in bed all day miserable. It fell on me to tell everyone about his condition and one night while relaying his story to some other mutual friends one said "I'll pray for him." He made the gesture of pressing his palms together with his thumbs at a right angle, I saw his thumb web and I knew what I had to do. I had access to everything I would need to pierce my thumb web, and it seemed the best prayer I could offer to him. I sat down immediately and started writing out a list of everything I would need to do. I decided to pierce it the next day with the help of my roommate. I went to sleep that night anxious, excited, and zen all at once. Tomorrow would be extreme.

I woke up and immediately started planning out a ritual of sorts. I decided that music would play as large a role as the piercing in this. After careful deliberation over my mp3 collection I burnt "the patient" by tool and "Everything you ever wanted to know about silence" by Glassjaw onto a cd and set it aside for later. I tried to let the rest of the day go by as calmly as I could. I hung out, read, drank a lot of tea and prepared myself for what would be a hell of a night. As the sun set I walked to a local burrito place, ate up, and returned to my apartment, ready for the task ahead of me.

I laid out everything I would need on a paper towel on my coffee table.

1 14g presteralized piercing needle
1 14g presteralized cbr
1 pair presteralized piercing clamps

I had everything laid out in front of me. I told my roommate, Gabriel, that all I would need him to do is hold the clamps while I pierced myself and remove them after I pierced myself and to call the hospital if anything went wrong. I lit some incense and meditated for a while. I had to be sure exactly what this would mean to me. I contemplated a long while the friendship Dan and I had shared over the years and calmed myself down as best I could, being VERY nervous at the time. After about 15 minutes I pressed play on my cd player and the mix tape I had created earlier spun to life. I washed my hands at my kitchen sink with Dial and then my left hand with technicare. I gloved my right hand and sat down in front of my table. I marked the spot on my web that I would pierce and then pressed the clams down, lining the space in the jaws up with the dot I had placed. I tried to keep away from muscle so the spot was 1/4 inch or so into my hand. After the clamps were secure I grabbed the needle and rested its tip on the point.

I froze.

I had never pierced myself before and fleeting images of paralysis and infection started flashing through my head as I felt myself backing out. I had tried my best to ignore this but it all caught up to me right then. I sat like that with the needle in hand, a small drop of blood forming at the point it was resting as I slowly got a hold of myself. I counted down from 5. As I hit 1 I said to myself "this is for you Daniel" and pushed the needle through. I was unsure at that point what pain I was feeling. His or mine. My stomach was reeling and my bowels felt like they had been cemented. As I forced the needle through I barely even felt it, only a tug at the end when the point exited the other side. My roommate removed the clamps and I pushed the needle out with the ring. It was done.

Just as "The Patient" finished on my stereo I secured the bead and stood up. My roommate asked me how I felt. After a solid 5 seconds of contemplating this question I decided that I felt fantastic! All the fear and doubt diminished and all I felt now was awe at the beautiful thing I had done. I had done this. I threw my mix tape in a case and Gabriel drove my car to Dans house about 15 minutes away. We arrived and he answered the door ghostly white and looking every bit as sick. He invited us in and I said to him,
"I have a present for you. Close your eyes." He did and I laid my pierced hand over the cd case and held it out to him. He opened his eyes and looked utterly shocked.
I looked at him and said "This is the prayer that I give to you, I know that you'll get better." He smiled and hugged me, my hand held far away to avoid any problems. We went into his room and as we listened to the cd I took the ring out, washed it in alcohol and handed it to him. He asked me if it was sterile and I said it should be, he then removed the ear ring he was wearing at the time and put this one in. I stood up and hugged him again and he swore to me he would never take it out. We spent the rest of the night together.

Healing wasn't really a concern, I kept it clean and washed it every so often, but for the most part I just watched it heal up. As for Dan a week later he was fine. Whatever was wrong with him passed and after a few more doctors visits they said that he would have nothing to worry about. He still hasn't taken that earring out. Maybe prayer really does work.