Okay, I'll admit it. I've pierced myself a few times before. Precisely, once in the navel and twice in the lobe. All went well and I have little problem with any of them. I kind of like the pain. It's weird to admit, but in that moment of deepest, most single-point pain, I flinch but am enjoying myself. I also get off on saying, "Hey, look at what I did!" and surprising or sickening others. As most of you probably know, the more times you do this, the harder it becomes to do so successfully.
At A Glance Author Kaila Contact Conanisbetterthanyou@lycos.com When It just happened Artist Me Studio My bedroom Location KCMO So I'm laying in bed thinking, "Hey, why not pierce something? I need to be able to hide it. Clit hood? NO... not on my own. Nipple? Kind of gross on girls, besides, mine will continue to grow once I have children. Hmmm.... My thumb web? No way... I remember reading those are an extremely bad idea. They'll reject, migrate or infect in no time flat. Bad idea... but it is easy to stretch out and see the veins... my parents would see it.... it's so thin... it would get caught on everything... AH HELL. I can always take it out. :)
I find the hugest fucking safety pin I can, because my smallest available jewelry is a 16 horseshoe. Good, small, diameter, though.
I flame the pricker super quick, and then douse it with some rubbing alcohol. I know none of this is by-the-book, or really even sane, but I had the urge and had to do it. I washed my hand and pysched up.
Most people probably would have put an eraser on the table and shoved it through really quick, from the top of the hand to the bottom. However, I was far more concerned about the palm of my hand, and thus did it with that side facing to me, hand in air. once it was in the web, I was amazed: The web is hollow and spreads out waaaaay farther than you'd expect. I could run the pin around anywhere I wanted inside there, and it made some cool "squelch" noises. However, I picked a nice straight line and went for it. Unable to hold anything behind it or clamp it, it came down to can I really endure the pain long enough to get it through my skin? The swirl at the bottom of this 2 inch safety pin was touching my palm, but it had finally broken the web.
I moved it and jiggled it, but realized that a proper follow-through was impossible. Thus, I just removed the pin and got one end of the jewelry in asap. It, too, could wiggle and jiggle around all it wanted in the web betwix my thumb and forefinger. Unfortunately, while the bad-boy pin had been gagued larger than the jewelry, the tip wasn't coming out straight. In my pre-piercing euphoria, I hadn't even thought of it. Getting the tip out was certainly the most time-consuming portion of the ride. I finally got the skin to sit sideways enough and pushed with my every finger on my other hand around the tiny circumference of the jewelry to get it out. I was shaking with excitment and adrenaline. Oh, and Pain. It hurt, okay?
That was about 24 hours ago. It is red and swollen, and looks like it may bruise. Nothing feels to hard or gross yet, and I didn't hit any blood vessels, but the hand is sore, and my thumb can't lay flat on my hand. It looks bad ass though. I spent the first half of the day walking around like Johnny Tremain, my thumb all forced over my forefinger so noone could see it. But as the day went on, I was waving the hand around in front of all my parents, laying it flat in front of them, eating and opening things with it (By the way: most righties tend to open doors with their left hand. Watch this and make sure you use your fingers and not your web to do so. You will snap back like the knob is 600 degrees hot.) Noone seems to notice it. Either they see it and think it is a normal ring (doesn't seem likely, but none of my parents or doctors want to think I'm piercing my own thumb web, and might allow that thought to prevail) or genuinely are inobservant enough not to see it. We'll see how long it lasts. The piercing, and the hiding-in-plain-sight.
A few tips:
- Get this done professionally.
- Since you won't, use a pin much larger than your jewelry, and mark your entrance and exit holes. Still, jiggle around in there and listen to it sqelch. It's pretty cool.
- Be constantly aware of it. You WILL touch or do things with this part of your hand unconsciously unless you do EVERYTHING consciously.
- Keep 'er clean any way you know how. Mine gets good warm water run over it everytime I wash my hands and a twice daily shot with sensitive skin face wash. Remember: a piercing is NOT an open wound. It is not an external wound. It is an enternal wound, like if your spleen ruptured. Putting neosporin on it is NOT the perfect answer, but do the best with what you have. If you do it on your own, still try to run by a professional place and but some piercing cleaner. Your hand touches a lot of dirty shit; It IS prone to infection.
- Pierce your nondominant hand, idiot.
I think this is kind of an experiment. Should be fun to see how it turns out. Email me if you wanna know.
Note: Readers should treat everything from "A few tips:" onward as humorous commentary rather than real advice (if that's not obvious).