At A Glance Author northern lights Contact northern lights@bme.anon IAM northern lights When A week ago Artist Luke Studio Physical Poetry Location Leeds, UK So, how did I come to decide that I wanted a genital piercing, more specifically a pair of outer labia piercings? I often struggle to define exactly what makes me want to modify my body. The feeling is hard to put into words. There is an aspect of that with this experience, but I've been able to think of various reasons or inspirations behind my decision, that I can go through here. I'm also going to describe just what it felt like having needles shoved through my lips down there!
After years of looking at pictures of piercings, being around beautiful pierced people, learning about the act itself, the rituals involved, and the process of healing, then eventually joining the IAM community and becoming involved in reviewing piercing experiences submitted to BMEzine, I was quite shocked when I realised that I'd never been "properly" pierced. As a teenager I had three gunned holes in each ear lobe, of which I have one pair left, now stretched to 6mm. Piercing was always something I wanted to do at the back of my mind, I just never got around to it, being generally distracted by getting colourful tattoos. The idea gradually dawned on me that it was something I really wanted to have a go at!
One thing that had put me off taking the plunge and getting pierced was struggling to decide what to get. I would love to get a lip or septum piercing, but I'm not sure my face would suit them, and I'm wary of the healing involved in fun ear piercings such as the conch, rook, and tragus (sleeping on one side makes me grumpy!).
Soooo, my thoughts moved onto other body parts, and gradually an idea began to take shape. Since I have frequented BME I've come to appreciate a lot of things that were previously beyond my knowledge, among them genital piercings. When I first encountered genital piercings I felt no particular urge to have one myself, but over the years I have become much more open-minded. And curious! I started to like the look of outer labia piercings in particular. I think they look attractive and over a period of several months started to consider them for myself more and more, and as I did so, other things began to come into the picture.
I have been strangely ashamed of my sexuality, and myself. I say strange because I was brought up by very unreligious parents, almost hippies, who were unlikely to have instilled upon me a heavy sense of guilt. Indeed, when I was little I was quite a carefree wee creature. I don't want this to turn into too much of a shoddy self-psychoanalysis, but I certainly do want to explain the reasons which have emerged in my own mind regarding why I would get a bit of metal poked through my most sensitive parts. That's why I'm here after all!
When I was 12 a very unusual thing happened to my family. We were caught up in the "Satanic Panic" of the late 1980s and early 1990s, and my parents were among a large group of others, who were wrongly accused of ritual child abuse. This meant that our house was searched and I was subjected to many frustratingly pointless interviews with police and social workers involving dialogues along the lines of "Come on, its ok to talk about it to us" "Well, really nothing happened" "But its ok for you to tell us about it", etc. This was around the time that my sexuality was just emerging. Two particular things stick in my mind. One was that I'd started to touch myself and was scared by the idea that I might have to undergo a physical examination (other children involved had), that somehow "they" would know, and it would be taken as evidence of abuse by my parents. Second was that I'd stolen some pictures of naked men from a magazine my mum had (go mum!) and was horrified at the thought that when the police searched our house they would have found those torn-out images in my room.....and that somehow that would also become damning evidence against us, or myself.
So, it is just my own shoddy self-psychoanalytical theory that these things might have influenced the sense of shame that has become so familiar. It all turned out "ok", charges were dropped when it was realised how ridiculous they were, and life went back to "normal", but the events of that time cast a long shadow on all of us. My childhood was distorted and innocent shapes twisted into something sinister. It was my gut instinct that these would be piercings that would challenge this sense of shame and the act of getting them would be helpful for moving forward into the future.
Although on the outside I'm quiet and lacking in confidence a lot of the time, I'm a very sexual person, and I also felt that these piercings would be a great way to celebrate my sexuality and my body. I thought back to how I felt when I watched a performance of The Vagina Monologues a few years ago, performed by students at my university. How wonderful and celebratory it was, and how I came away with such a clean and empowered view of myself and my sexuality.
However, it's not all serious – I also just like these piercings because I think they look lovely! There's something about them that just excites me, and I think there we're getting back to that undefinable factor of motivation that is so hard to put into words. I really wanted to experience something special, spiritual even, for my first "proper" piercing, a rite of passage, and these piercings felt perfect.
So, last summer I started to get the feeling that I'd really like to do something body-mod related soon. Important events were coming up that I wanted to mark, such as completing my post-graduate degree, and moving to a new city to start a new job. Usually with the tattoos I've had done I've wanted them pretty much immediately, but due to training for the Great North Run I had to plan this a little more carefully. I didn't want to have to go through the healing process while I was committed to running several times a week. Having successfully done the whole panting around the roads of Tyneside in the blazing sun thing, there was still a Tool gig to go and I didn't think a fresh piercing and moshpit would go well together, so I still held off. Finally in late November I was mentally ready, had made sure my boyfriend was comfortable with the idea, had enough funds after a couple of months of working, and had a suitable time for healing, with no energetic commitments.
Now is probably a good time to mention the last barrier to me going ahead with my plans, which was making sure my boyfriend was comfortable. I admit that when I first plucked up the courage to tell him what I'd been thinking about he didn't like the idea. He knows plenty about the world of body mods so I don't think he was too freaked out by the idea in itself. He mainly felt worried about the me he was so familiar with changing. I respect his view greatly and his position made me wonder if I would go ahead with it. Over a period of two or three months we would sporadically discuss it and eventually the conflict seemed to melt away, so I think he just needed to get used to it.
Being new to Leeds I didn't have much idea of what piercing shops were around, let alone which ones were decent, so I did lots of online research, combined with a bit of wondering aimlessly around the city centre. Meanwhile I had come across Luke's IAM page a couple of times and noted him as a piercer in Leeds. I looked through pictures of the piercings he had done, looking happy and healthy and got a good feeling. I know that BME is such an intelligent and informative site that it's a good bet that a piercer who is part of the IAM community is to be trusted and will be very well informed about what they are doing. I found nothing but good reviews of Luke and Physical Poetry, the shop where he worked, whereas I found mixed reviews of the shops in the city centre. Finally, I thought that hopefully I'd know enough to be able to spot anything that wasn't right and bugger off if I felt uncomfortable. Because Physical Poetry is out of the city centre on the opposite side of Leeds to where I live, I admit that laziness was the reason I didn't pop in to see what the place was like before actually going in to get pierced!
A week away from the date I had in mind, I rang the shop to find out about things such as opening hours and pricing. I got such an adrenaline rush just from talking to someone about what I wanted done! I didn't need to make an appointment, but decided to myself that Saturday would be the day. I spent most of the week worrying about what to do with my hair – very few of the experiences I've read cover the etiquette of pubic hair and genital piercings! Although Wolfbane's article proved useful in that respect. In the end I went with a general trim and some shaving to neaten everything up. I thought trying to completely de-hair myself was not a good idea so close to the time, with the risk of uncomfortable irritation.
Saturday dawned the first really bitterly cold day of the winter, with pretty frost-covered trees and fields and everything. After a busy morning running around doing bits and bobs I showered, making sure I was clean as could be, ate a good lunch and set off to town, a little bit later than I'd wanted. As the bus went down into Leeds the city was all spread out in rather special winter light, just catching the tops of buildings and higher ground, while the lower land was starting to fall into shadows, even at 3pm.
I decided to walk up to the shop to give me time to calm myself and work through all the mental gibbering which I knew I would end up with. Sure enough along the journey I worked through my doubts – "Am I mad?" "Do I really want to do this?" "Why do I really want to do this?" etc. I must have dealt with it all satisfactorily because when I saw the entrance leading to Physical Poetry I went into quite a matter of fact mood and just got on with it. I probably still came across as quite nervous but the thing that mattered to me was that I wasn't totally freaking out inside!
Physical Poetry is hidden away above some other shops in a characterful, studenty area. I climbed the stairs, found Luke, and said "Hi I'm the girl who asked about outer labia piercings!" After a bit of chat, the filling in of forms, and the viewing of jewellery, he had to autoclave the chosen rings and needles, so I spent some time going out to get a drink and chatting on the phone to my boyfriend letting him know that everything felt fine and comfortable. Regarding jewellery, Luke suggested that both bars and rings have their advantages and drawbacks, so we decided on rings since that was what I'd originally visualised. I'd considered that the diameter of the rings would have to be fairly large to allow for swelling (we went with 12mm diameter), but hadn't really thought of the gauge. Luke suggested 2.4mm rings to avoid any "cheesewire" effects! This was slightly thicker than I'd expected but I'm all for not having my genitals ripped, and the rings he showed me looked very pretty so all was good.
Outside it was too damn cold so I retreated to the shop pretty soon and had some chocolate and juice and chatted to Dave the tattooist and his prey who had come out into the reception area for a break. They were half way through a gorgeous bio-mech piece which was fitting the guy's shoulder perfectly. I talked a bit about some of my future tattoo ideas to but to be honest my mind was on other things and I couldn't concentrate much! After stunning Luke with my lack of desire for tea (Yeh, I know, I'm a freak!) and some chat about his fun Rancid tattoo, the jewellery was ready and it was serious time, so through into the piercing room we went.
When it came to be time to disrobe, after a bit more talk, the HUGE shock was how ok it felt. I actually didn't feel strange at all. When I caught sight of myself in the mirror in nothing but a red baggy hoody examining marks on my labia I admitted that I looked pretty silly, but at least I didn't feel uncomfortable!
Much to my relief, the hair situation was absolutely fine! I guess I was thinking of tattoos, where you have to be shaved smooth, but a bit of hair doesn't affect a piercing quite so much. We talked about placement and he made marks with a toothpick dipped in ink, first with me standing up then with me lying down. I wanted the rings high up, pretty much parallel with my clitoris, and we decided to position the left piercing slightly lower than the right so the rings would lie more comfortably rather than bashing into each other. Lying down and spreading my legs was another potentially weird moment but I soon got over it (frankly too curious and excited to be embarrassed) and found a nice comfy position with my feet crossed but legs open at the knees so I didn't feel as if my feet might slip off the minute I was prodded with something sharp.
There was a funny bit where we were getting set up with the lamp in the right place and I joked that it felt like my bits were being interrogated "What do you knooooow??" said Luke and I just cracked up – best not to ask them I think ;o)
Next came the inspecting for veins. The left labia proved troublesome in this aspect, so we had to move the placement slightly, but it looked absolutely fine to me. At this point I put on my thick woolly socks because it being a cold December day I was starting to feel a bit chilly. What a sight, naked but for a red baggy hoody and now a pair of woolly socks – yeah, looking hot! But comfortable and that was my main concern at that point.
We started with the left labia. Luke put the clamp on. This was indeed uncomfortable as I'd heard so many people describe. It was a sharp, pinching feeling and it seemed to take a while (although it was probably actually very quick) of him getting ready before came the expected "Are you ready? Take a nice deep breath in....." He pierced on my exhale and yep it hurt! A few moments of searing pain as I felt it enter, travel through and exit, with the entry and exit hurting more than the travelling through. A very interesting sensation, and followed by such a rush. Luke told me "well done" which was nice and supportive. He was very efficient at putting the ring through and the ball on the ring, each of which amounted to a split second's wince and nothing more. I sat up and peered down, seeing a big fat sexy metal ring through my flesh and a few drops of dark red blood oozing.
Luke said I could watch if I wanted but I declined because I thought I might get squeamish and then struggle mentally to go through with the second one. Since then I've kind of wished I could have seen what it looked like seeing the needle go through but I think I did the right thing at the time.
Happy, I lay back down knowing I had to psyche myself for the second. Luke made sure I was ready, and didn't need a longer break between the two but I felt ok so the clamp went on once more. Again came the instruction to breathe, and again the short blaze of pain. This one seemed to hurt more and take longer to pass through. I hissed and squirmed a bit and whispered something like "Aaaah, ouch, yes that hurt!" He said the second one usually hurts more, which must be psychological because the procedure was exactly the same. The insertion of the jewellery felt just the same as the first one. I sat up and admired the view and grinned a big grin. The piercings were cleaned of blood, and then it was time for me to get dressed again and for us to talk aftercare. At this point I felt a bit spaced out but juice was restorative.
The aftercare instructions were pleasingly simple (aka LITHA – Leave it the Hell Alone....). I was to gently wash the piercings with a non-scented, non-antibacterial soap (such as Simple body wash) once a day in the shower and rinse with cold, clean water. He suggested that short blasts with a hairdryer could be good for drying to avoid having to rub with a towel. I felt like I must've missed a large chunk of complicated instructions involving cleaning rituals and potions so I asked "What about sea salt soaks or anything?" and Luke said that I could do that once a week at most if I wanted (or if I was having trouble with the healing) but that too many could actually irritate the piercings. No sex for two weeks. Hmm, I didn't think that one through with boyfriend's fortnightly visit a week away! Oh well. Use protection when sex back is on the cards what with new piercings being open wounds and all and not wanting diseases jumping in.
I paid fifty pounds and a ten pound tip for a job very well done, and walked back into the city centre with a bit of a cowboy stance going on. Every now and then I would wince, and walking uphill was especially tender, but on the whole I felt fine. Perhaps the bitter cold numbed everything! There was quite a bit of swelling, as I had expected. Over the space of the evening the piercings bled a tiny little bit, just a few drops that I noticed when I went to the loo. I've not heard that outer labia piercings are supposed to directly enhance sexual pleasure but on the first night when everything was a bit swollen, the rings were sort of pushed up against my clit and the sensation was arousing. Frustrating!
I experienced only mild discomfort during the night. The following day was a Sunday so I was able to slob around the house in a skirt and no pants, allowing air to get to the fresh piercings, however sitting at a desk all day on Monday in smart trousers was less pleasant. There was still a lot of swelling and I experienced a fair mix of painful and pleasurable twinges! By Tuesday the swelling had reduced, there was a little bit of white crust around the holes, and the sensation became more of an itchy pain with uncomfortable pinching between the rings. By Wednesday the left piercing was giving much more pain and discomfort than the right, being more pushed up against my inner labia. Sometimes it would sting pretty intensely when I peed, but other times not. The piercings were horribly itchy over night on Wednesday. On Thursday I experimented with going commando under a skirt, with hold ups to protect me from the cold of northern England winter. While this worked at home where I could sit around in sprawled positions and move about when wanted, it didn't really help at work where I had to sit still for hours in a prim position, so work was still really uncomfortable. It felt like there was a huge leap in healing on Thursday night and on Friday I hardly felt anything and could even cross my legs and plonk myself down on chairs without too much wincing. On Friday the rings fell into a naturally more comfortable position, with the left one angled up and the right angled down. This seemed to cut down on the pinching.
It is now just over two weeks since the event and healing is going well. The cleaning regime I've followed has been fine, and since I've had no trouble I haven't tried anything else such as a sea salt soak. They also get the approval of the boyfriend, which is good!
In case it hasn't already come across I'd just like to say that Luke was brilliant! He helped so much in putting me at ease and making me feel totally comfortable. Talking about some of his own tattoos and piercings was great, since it made me feel less isolated, as if I was out there alone going through something scary, and a good smattering of humour was also nice. Everything was of course scrupulously clean and the work of a very high standard.
Beforehand I thought this would be attractive because it was secret but the whole experience has made me feel like shouting about it and telling people. I feel so un-dirty and ok and it was empowering to go through something like that in a totally non-sexual way. It made me feel really good and happy. So far the healing is going well, and hopefully in a few weeks I'll be able to change to 10mm diameter rings, which will fit more snugly.
I wish I could do it again! I just want to hold onto those precious few hours. I'll have to consider what else I could get pierced......