The events leading up to my Princess Albertina five days ago were actually a series of very fortunate circumstances. If it weren't for being in the right places at the right times, I am not sure if I would ever have discovered this wonderful piercing at all.
At A Glance Author Trista When A week ago Artist Gwen Studio The Hole Body Location Vancouver I am a nurse and have been working in a hospital now for over 2 years. I have, of course, taken care of hundreds of patients during that time, many of whom were pierced or tattooed. Before going to nursing school, the only mods I sported were a small tribal tattoo on my ankle I got while in the Peace Corp in Central America and a pierced navel I got when I returned home. Now I must confess that all of my newest mods have at least been partially inspired by what I have seen on my patients. I am embarrassed to admit it, but it is sort of like I have to see a piercing or tattoo on someone else first before I will really consider the same mod for myself. Now my list of tats includes a Celtic ankle band, a tribal on my lower back, a ring around my toe, a flower on my buns, and a tribal sun on my pubic mound. My list of piercings now include a rook, a daith, an ear cartilage, one nipple, a vertical hood, two outer labia, and....a PA.
Several weeks ago I had been working on the orthopedic unit (not my usual unit) at the hospital, when a young woman was admitted for a broken femur after falling off a ladder. Since she was not mobile, I proceeded to place a Foley catheter in her urethra. I quickly discovered that she, too, sported a vertical hood and an inner labia piercing. And to my surprise, she also had what I later learned was a PA through her urethra. (That was the first time I have ever seen or heard of such a thing. I thought I was pretty worldly in such matters, and my previous boyfriend even had a PA). I was forced to remove her CBR from her urethra in order to insert the Foley catheter. I was enormously intrigued by this piercing, but my policy is to never discuss such personal matters with patients no matter how curious I am (nor was she in any condition to talk about it).
I went home from work that night determined to learn more about the piercing I had just seen. I tuned into BME, searched, and ultimately found some information and at least one picture of a Princess Albertina. The information described the piercing as rare with an associated risk of urinary track infections and suitable only for women with large enough urethras. As a nurse who knew she wanted this piercing, I knew I was suitable. First of all, I have never had a UTI, and I wasn't sure how a piercing placed 10mm deep in the urethra could increase the risk of getting one. Secondly, while the male urethra may be able to accommodate larger diameter piercings than a female urethra, I knew first hand just how much stretching my urethra could take, although I have never used sounds.
While in nursing school my best friend Keri and I used to catheterize each other for practice. Catheterizing each other was not part of the normal nursing curriculum, but Keri and I tended to act a bit kinky with each other under the influence of wine... even to this day. A typical 16 french (5.3mm) Foley catheter accommodates almost all adult patients. It also has a 5cc balloon that is inflated up inside the bladder to keep it from pulling out. Neither of us are large girls, but we soon discovered that with a dab of 4% xylocaine jelly and enough sterile KY jelly, anything is possible. We had each placed 28 Fr (9.3mm) catheters into the other on more than one occasion, so I knew that the size of my urethra was NOT going to be a problem.
About a week passed after I first saw that young woman with the PA in the hospital. I went to my salon on a Wednesday afternoon to get my monthly Brazilian bikini wax. (By the way, after 2-3 visits, you get used to it.) Sara, my aesthetician (bikini waxer), is, of course, used to seeing my mods. She, too, claims to sport more than one genital mod. She and I never hesitate to discuss tattoos or piercings with each other. Like me, she sees her share of mods on her clients. I asked Sara if she had ever seen or heard of a female PA. And as a matter of fact, she had! Only a couple weeks earlier a young woman came in to Sara's shop to be waxed. She was a new client from out of town (New York), with what Sara described as the "biggest ring through her pee hole – it had to be at least 4g." Sara had asked her many questions, only to learn that it has caused her absolutely no problems, she got it in NYC, and it was indeed a 4g.
See, this is a series of coincidences. I left from getting my bikini waxing and headed straight to The Hole Body (where I get all of my piercings) about ½ block down the road from Sara's. Believe it or not, I didn't go to inquire about a PA. I went in to see if I could find a new CBR (with a small diamond or CZ) for my rook piercing. Troy and Katherine own the shop and both happened to be there together that afternoon. With them was a woman I didn't recognize, but I knew by the sound of it that they were friends. They were talking, and I was looking through all of the jewelry and didn't want to interrupt. Very quickly I learned that their visitor, named Gwen, owned a piercing studio in San Francisco. Having previously lived here in Vancouver, Gwen was visiting friends and family here.
Without any prompting from me, their conversation turned to female PA's. Apparently, Princess Albertina's are becoming more and more common in SF. Gwen said that she now probably averages 2-3 per month, and until last year she had never done one. At this point I jumped into the conversation. I was eager to learn whether Troy or Katherine had ever done a female PA. They said that they have received a couple of calls inquiring about them, but nothing came of those calls. Jumping forward, Troy and Katherine insisted that now was the time for me to get my PA while Gwen was in town. I agreed 100%, but I couldn't do it then. I scheduled an appointment for Friday, two days later.
Friday came quickly, so after work and without any hesitation whatsoever, I headed straight to The Hole Body for my PA. Troy was finishing with his last client for the evening behind a curtain. I had learned from previous experience to pay and tip before the procedure, so I handed Katherine two $50 bills to cover the costs. It's no fun taking care of finances after a painful piercing...or tattoo for that matter.
Gwen and Katherine were eager to get things ready. Katherine locked the door, and in the little waiting area, Gwen told me to have a seat and hike up my skirt so we could decide on what jewelry needed to be processed in the autoclave. I knew exactly what I wanted. An 8g x 15mm CBR set deep to allow for stretching and rough play. Gwen said that 10g-12g were more typical, but I think when she saw my 4g outer labia rings she knew I had the stomach for it. She poked and prodded around my business and proceeded to explain to me the procedure. The whole time I couldn't take my mind off the fact that I was in the middle of the waiting room, with my legs spread wide-open and my skirt pulled up to my chest...with a complete stranger a short distance away behind the curtain.
Finally, Troy finished up with his client and I quickly dropped my skirt. I jumped up onto the table and placed my feet in the stirrups. Gwen had me place latex gloves on my hands so that I could spread my labia apart as she prepped my vagina with a liberal amount of betadyne. She used a sterile Q-tip to swab the inside of my urethra with betadyne, as well, which caused me to wince. Then she reached for a very large cannulated needle (I am assuming it was an 8g.) and bent the lower third of the needle about 45 degrees. Next Gwen unwrapped a package of small clamps. She explained that this was the most difficult and painful part – placing the forceps into the urethra. When I first saw the clamps I cringed. I asked Troy to hold my hand, so Katherine stepped in to retract my labia while Gwen placed the forceps in my urethra.
You can tell that Gwen knew what she was doing. As if it were one motion Gwen inserted one end of the clamps into my urethra, clamped tight, and secured the clamps with a rubber band. Then she situated the bent cannulated needle into my urethra and placed a sterile cork in my vagina up against the wall and my urethra. I counted to three and exhaled while she proceeded to pierce. In a matter of seconds, she had pierced the hole and withdrawn the needle leaving the plastic tube of the cannulated needle in the piercing. Then she struggled only for a minute to place the CBR and close the ring. Gwen was particularly happy with the placement, very deep and centered.
As for the pain, all I can say is that my navel, labia, and especially my nipple were all considerably more painful. Nonetheless, this procedure is not for the faint of heart. The pain was considerable but brief, and this was by far the bloodiest of all my piercings. But I think that was due to the large size of the piercing. Katherine did her best to clean me up down there before handing me the mirror, but the bleeding would not stop. So I took a quick look before placing a maxi pad to contain the mess. I praised Gwen, Troy, and Katherine for their excellent work and headed straight home.
As with all of my piercings, I am religious about after care, which I assume is why I have never had a bit of trouble with healing. I use sea salt soaks long after normal convention applies. For my PA, I use a syringe to gently flush my urethra three times a day. In the morning and in the evening, I fill a plastic cup with warm salt solution, place it up to my vagina, and lay back with the cup inverted for 15-20 minutes. I still use Bactine for my ears, but I am resisting the temptation to use anything for my PA but salt soaks.
So far I have no reason to think that my Princess Albertina will not be one of my favorites. I am looking forward to putting it into action, but I am playing it safe by letting it fully heal before the hanky-panky begins.