This experience is very long and detailed; I congratulate anyone who reads to the end of it. My labia piercings mean a lot to me, anyway.
At A Glance Author Emily Contact Emily@bme.anon When A week ago Artist My fiance Studio My house Location Leeds, UK Considering that this experience is about my 4 consecutive labia piercings, no-one will believe what I am about to say next.
I have an extremely, embarrassingly low pain threshold. When coupled with an obsessive love for body modifications of all types, this causes problems; faced with a needle, I generally burst into tears, scream and fight. I am stupidly afraid of pain; it reminds me of cutting, and the tempting closeness of the veins of the inner wrist. I now, however, have self-control and something vaguely resembling happiness, so that is now inapplicable. Pain ought not to frighten me any more.
So, one day I woke up and decided that my long-suffering fiancé of 3 years, LR33 as he likes to be known, was going to pierce my inner labia. Four times. I figured it would cheer me up after some truly disastrous exams (if anyone else says to me "But you always get As!" I swear I WILL kill them). I will insert the usual disclaimer here that professional piercers are definitely the way to go. However, it's just not something I could do at a studio, even if they did allow genital piercings on 17-year-olds.
LR33 knows it is best to let me get on with whatever craziness I am doing, so didn't question me buying 2.4mm needles, CBRs and clamps from BME, and a significant amount of EMLA cream from a British pharmacy.
Now, I would trust LR33 with my life, but could I really trust a nervous dyspraxic with an extremely sharp needle? Looking back, this all seems rather insane.
My second insane decision was to invite D, the loveliest and most bonkers member of our D&D group, and a long-ago ex-boyfriend of mine, to view the procedure and photograph it. There was method in my madness, however; I couldn't then chicken out. Unlike most British girls, it seems, I was not in the habit of parading my genitals around to lads at the age of 14, and D had never seen the female genitalia before. I hope I have not put him off them.
Just over a week later, the needles etc. arrived, and we set about scrupulously sterilising everything that didn't come in an autoclave packet. I went and got cleaned up; D fastidiously complained that my underwear was on the floor.
When I sat down on the chair in the study (it's more well-lit than the bathroom) my stomach was full of snakes rather than butterflies. I generously covered my inner labia in EMLA cream, and we sat there twiddling our thumbs for ten minutes.
I wiped the cream off, and LR33 marked where the first two piercings would go. I'm afraid that I started sweating, crying, and grabbing at his hands at this juncture, in a most unhelpful way. However, I could not feel the clamps at all, and this persuaded me to let him puncture me.
I didn't feel the Vaseline-lubricated needle at all; EMLA cream is powerful stuff. I actually felt disappointed for a minute, but once the simple jewellery transfer had been completed, it began to sting nastily, and blood began running down my leg. Then LR33 couldn't get the ball on the ring, no matter how much he pulled and tugged (ouch). Five minutes later, a sterile larger ball had been procured and attached, and we could continue.
Before the second needle, I started sweating and shaking again. D held my hand. I felt it this time; however, it was the clichéd "just a pinch". Again, stinging and blood once the jewellery was in. I decided to go and wash the area again (it hurt fairly badly to walk) then applied EMLA further up my labia.
Once it had taken effect, LR33 squished my labia around a bit so he could avoid the large veins I seem to have at the front. I must admit, the second two holes hurt about as much as my lip piercings (so not horribly much). However, once the CBRs were through and the jewellery was on, the whole area was red and swollen, and we were both literally covered in blood. The pain then was far worse than the piercings.
The strangest thing was this... getting labia piercings makes you fart. Not wussy, girly farts, but the kind 17-stone LR proudly makes after a curry. WHY? I do not have any idea. I am not normally a vastly flatulent person, and found this worrying to say the least.
I staggered off to the bathroom and got clean again, put on some huge boxers and was fed chocolate, and congratulated, by the bemused D. I thanked LR33 (he had been as nervous as I was about the piercings).
Actually, I was amazed at how well they had turned out. Owing to my research, I knew they were fairly easy to pierce, but these were really straight and looked extremely professional. The most difficult part was avoiding an accidental pierced thigh, but the only mishap was that I sat on the pen and covered myself in green ink.
LR proudly took the towel I had been sitting on and gleefully presented it to my mother, who screamed a bit. The towel looked like someone had just given birth to twins upon it. I liked the sight and feel of the blood; it was lovely.
The area continued to be in pain for about an hour, then died down.
The adrenaline comedown from these piercings lasted for the rest of the day; I can't believe how spaced out I look in the pictures! I am honestly innocent of all drug use.
My labia stung a lot after peeing. I begun my twice-daily salt soaks and removal of yuck with cotton buds, which also stung.
The next afternoon, I took my labia for a walk in the pretty countryside, but we had to turn back after half a mile, as they HURT.
Now, my 4 inner labia piercings seem to be healing nicely. I am abstaining from sexual activity and being careful with my movement, but sometimes there's a bit of pain, especially when I move around in my sleep. I can feel the presence of the CBRs, which is frankly strange. They're only 2mm thick and 10mm in diameter, but seem heavy.
I believe that it is impossible to be objective about DIY piercing; I do not condone it, but I do condone my own! Just remember that the piercings should be extremely well planned, EVERYTHING must be sterile, and there should be people around to take care of you if things don't go well. I couldn't have overcome my embarrassment in a studio, no matter how friendly the piercers are. However it MUST be remembered that the average person reading this will have far more balls than myself!
I have overcome so many viciously negative feelings about myself with these piercings. I know that, because of my use of topical anaesthesia, most people would not consider labia piercings a big deal, but I am proud of myself. I've had infinitely more painful piercings, although I can imagine that this pain would be almost unbearable without an anaesthetic.
Incidentally, I know these piercings won't provide any particular sexual stimulation for me, I have a feeling that my fiancé will like them.
Go for it, whatever I say. I'm pleased, anyway.