DIY RPA (UK)

At A Glance Author Skewer Contact Skewer@bme.anon Artist Self Studio Home Location UK

Since late '95, I've abandoned almost as many piercings as I now have scattered around my body - a dozen or so compared to my 15 remaining adornments. The most recent, under a day old as I type, is a 2.4mm (gauges are not widely used in the UK piercing scene) reverse PA... I already have 4 hafadas, but this was my first venture into the "major" genital piercing field. However, there are a few factors that make this whole experience unusual, which I think I should outline before going into details.

1. I currently only have one piercing, my right nipple, that I didn't do myself. I tried, and may do again, but nipples are just so damn tough... Anyway, not many people seem to do their own piercings at all, but I got trained a few years ago just so I'd know exactly what I was doing, not so I could set up a business. So don't worry about the dangers and risks, I'm sure I know more than the many cowboys who pierce professionally.

2. I'm in the UK. Any brits reading this might feel pissed off seeing this cited as something odd, but the 'net is soooooo American (as is this site) that anything from the UK may be a breath of fresh air.

3. I'm not circumcised. Again, not so odd, but I can't seem to find many PA or RPA images that aren't of circumcised men. I know a lot of piercings are said to help re-sensitise a circumcised penis, but can't some of us have the best of both worlds?

OK, background rambling over! I have to admit the whole procedure was a spur of the moment thing, I even had to get my partner to fetch the pliers to put the ball on the ring due to an amazing lack of foresight. But still, I got out of the bath, saw a recently-sterilised surgical steel ring in an autoclave bag that for some reason never got put out of sight, and thought "what the hell?" So I sat leant on the bath and wondered what the fuck I was doing...

I'm not generally bothered by any DIY holeyness, I had a deep hand web barbell (3.2mm diameter, between my 2nd and 3rd right fingers) for a couple of years that was self-done, but my friendly local tattooist/piercer (Simon of Aberaeron (don't try to pronounce it, it's in Wales)) tried to talk me out of doing this one myself. Partly because I never bother with anaesthetic, and he thought I could freak out without that psychosomatic safety net. Also because I never actually did a PA while I was in training. Maybe he wanted the trade too, but we've been friends since my discovery of bodmods and were both apprentices under the same person. He understands... I think.

Anyway, unperturbed by Si's adamant stance on the whole thing, there I was, leant on the bath. I still wasn't sure if this would be a normal or reverse PA, but I'd asked Si about the awkwardness of an intact frenum with normal PAs and I just decided that if I was aiming myself, I'd rather not have such a delicate, right-in-the-line-of-fire area to try and avoid! Also, for anyone trying to choose between the two piercings, I was swayed partly by the fact that there's a whole load of really nice nerve endings on the underside of the glans, but the top, although sensitive, is kinda dull. Well, I think so anyway, so I figured I may as well make it more interesting.

Unlike many US (and some UK) piercers, I'm not into the whole receiving tube thing. I think that there's a time and a place - I wouldn't want a tragus piercing to overshoot - but there are some horror stories about unlubricated, oversized tubes and urethras that I don't even want to think about. So I prefer the idea of working from the urethra outwards, inserting and aiming the plastic sleeve of the needle with the blade withdrawn a little, then pushing the needle into the sleeve fully and following through. It all sounds so easy when it's not actually happening.

To test the water, as it were, regarding sensations and comfort, and to see if Si was right about being able to see where the exit wound would be by applying internal pressure, I got my trusty bit of blunt, tapered metal that was used to stretch my hand web back in '97... It's end was a similar size to the needle sleeve, and not so square-tipped, so it was ideal for a first experience of something other than fluid touching my urethra. It was pretty weird, but not painful, and it did indeed make a localised white area appear when pressed upwards at an angle. Thanks Si! So I was decided, a reverse PA was a great idea, and I was confident that everything (at least up to the aiming bit) would be fine.

As I described before, I placed the tube and retracted needle in place, bearing in mind the general rule from my training that I should aim about halfway back along the head for the piercing. This could have been done by judging the length of the tube against my outside dimensions, but I prefer to trust nerve endings. My 2 tongue piercings and septum ring are only straight because I took a little time and a lot of care on the way through, correcting any off-centre sensations when I felt them. So without anaesthetic, and without denying that my hands were shaking a little (perhaps too much to be safe but I was determined!), I began to push the needle upwards into the tube and against the urethra's lining.

For a while, almost a minute, all there was pressure. I don't rush piercings, but any apparent masochism doesn't change the fact that I'm more likely to be accurate in my ring/barbell placement than someone who trusts a couple of dots on your skin and drives the needle through in under a second. So the pressure was all I could focus on, I knew it would give way to a familiar sting soon enough, and I adjusted my grip on myself so I could see the paleness of the compressed skin. Knowing where I wanted the needle to emerge, I made sure the blurry white circle was centred on the correct point, and decided that it would be wise to use my one hand like a tourniquet, restricting blood and feeling in the impending piercing site. As soon as I felt the skin break something occurred to me. I have no idea why I didn't have the thought 3 seconds earlier, but whatever. I had a hand pushing on the needle, and a constricting hand around my penis, but no third hand to hold either side of the exit-to-be area, minimising the elasticity of the skin (and thus reducing the pain).

My partner may be open minded, and helpful when pliers are involved, but she wouldn't have joined me at this point. I knew her too well to even ask, but I recalled a technique from my hand web piercing that some of you reading this may appreciate if you want to pierce anywhere and don't have enough available limbs! Adjusting my sitting position, I was able to put the back of the needle (with the syringe removed) flat on the floor, giving me a solid object upon which I could impale myself. Sounds nasty, but bear with me. Keeping my right little finger and ring finger down either side of the needle I could keep it upright, using my other 3 digits to move myself instead of the needle. Still squeezing almost all feeling out of the area with my left hand, and with my genitals looking more like some strangled creature than anything human, I was able to force the needle through bit by bit.

I have to reiterate that my choice to pierce slowly is not a sexually masochistic one, nor am I totally insane. Honest. I tried to pierce myself quickly many years ago and the body shock was too intense, I simply couldn't force myself to be so brutal - if you've never tried and succeeded to control self-administered pain, don't knock it. By the time I felt the needle nearing the surface I was virtually in a meditative state, like the world didn't exist outside my line of vision. I didn't say "ouch" once, I just kept breathing from the bottom of my lungs, pushing on the out breath and pausing for a moment as I breathed in. Apparently nerve endings die after reporting pain for 30 seconds, so when it got a bit intense I would pause until everything had subsided and apply pressure again.

As the skin broke at the top of the piercing, I had to take about 4 or 5 steady attempts to get through. I deliberately didn't study the needle immediately before the piercing, just because I might have bottled out, but now I was able to see a grey dot slowly becoming a line, then a triangle, until finally I saw that the razor-sharp edge of the needle was fully through and another of the short pushes brought the plastic sleeve up to the skin. However tapered and smooth those tubes are, they still are a small blunt step up in diameter for the pierced hole, and I think the single most painful part of the whole reverse PA was pushing that sleeve up into the open air.

By this time, I must have been sat there for about half an hour. Bearing in mind the time taken to set up a clean working area, and positioning the piercing, the needle had been in transit for over 15 minutes. Considering occasional pauses to allow nerves to die, and shuffling around when my legs went numb, I estimate that it took about twenty firm pushes, each no longer than around 20 seconds, to get through. Little did I know that I would still be sat there in another half hour!

The gap in my chosen ball closure ring (captive bead ring for the Americans) was under 6mm, based on the size of the ball and a little reduction due to the tension in the ring and the recesses in the ball. Placing the ring against the tube I realised I had little chance of getting it in place without using a turning action, starting with one end of the ring positioned inside my urethra and the other in the tube. I couldn't be specific, but the thickness of the upper glans is more than 6mm. For ages, every effort I made to lift the end of the ring into the plastic tube (even with it pulled just below the skin) led to the pressure collapsing the tube, which was not exactly painful but did lead to slight momentary bleeding from the exposed innards of the wound. Once the ring and the tube were aligned, through sheer determination rather than a change of tactic, I slowly turned the ring that in turn pushed on the tube. Unfortunately I did not maintain a tight seal between the two objects, noticeable when the tube filled with blood and began to do what it was designed for: transport liquid to or from a body at a rate of 516ml per minute! Quickly but calmly I manage to rotate the ring until both ends of it were hidden in my urethra, and the plastic tube fell away under the force of gravity. I later contemplated the quantity of blood decorating my bathroom and me, and the short time involved, and realised that I may have lost a half pint of blood at that moment. Still, with one last twist I brought the ring into position so the ball (a plain surgical steel bead) could be inserted thanks to my partner who brought my circlip pliers to the scene. Apart from the comedy moment when my partner realised why I had taken so long in (well, out of) the bath, and the hour spent soaking towels to remove blood, the procedure was complete. I suffered no bruising, no visible swelling and only mild stinging while urinating.

(Addendum after 2 days) I wonder, when people receive anaesthetic and are unable to control the speed or force of the piercer's actions, just how sore they must be after the event. I plan to avoid sex and bodily fluids other than my own urine for at least another week, and to keep meticulously clean, but only through a common-sense fear of infection. I am still not bruised, not swollen and have not bled since the ring was in place (except for a small build-up of dried blood overnight). I admit that the ring exits slightly off to the right as I look down at my penis, by no more than a millimetre, but I would rather that than the kind of agonising healing that some people suffer and an extortionate bill!

I would absolutely NOT recommend doing his yourself though, unless you have many other self-piercing experiences and a few years' practise. And if you're not fully trained, don't even touch a needle, you'll have nobody to turn to if it all goes wrong and no guarantee that it won't.