Woofie's Prince Albert

At A Glance Author Woofie Contact Woofie@bme.anon Artist Dave Studio Skin and Bones Location Deep Ellum (Dallas), Texas

Woofie's Prince Albert

New Year's Eve 1999

I finally did it! After a three-year cycle of contemplation, cold feet, and chickening out, I got my Prince Albert (PA). Don't get me wrong; I'm not a complete stranger to body modification. I've kicked off the past few New Years with "presents" for myself ­ a new earring one year, a navel ring the next, and a couple of tattoos.

BACKGROUND

I'm a clean-cut, conservative guy. As a consultant for a professional services firm, with a military client, I have to keep my sexuality and my appearance very straight. Facial piercings are a no-no for me. My only remaining options were below the neck ­ my nipples or my penis. I didn't want my nipples done, for fearing of them ripping out while doing the bench press.

I'd read about PAs on the BME before. But as fascinated as I was by the thought of getting one, the idea of a six-week abstinence from sex was a big turn-off. I also wasn't sure whether my penis was big enough, or if my foreskin would be an issue.

Dave at Skin and Bones (http://www.skinandbones.com) in Dallas was my piercer. I told him that I wanted a PA, but that I was chickening out. He was very understanding and explained the entire procedure to me, complete with an illustration on actual dildo. I selected 12 ga SS curved barbell, filled out my release form, and waited for him to prepare.

When he called my name, my palms started sweating and the butterflies in my stomach began thrashing about. I couldn't believe I was actually going through with it, but I was determined not to turn back now.

THE PROCEDURE

I dropped my pants around my ankles and hopped on the cold, padded table. The actual procedure took five about minutes, but it was the longest five minutes I've ever endured.

First, he took a lubricated cotton swab and inserted it into my urethra. I think there was some sort of anesthetic in it. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't exactly pleasurable. It was really strange to see a cotton swab sticking out of my penis.

A few minutes later, he removed the swab and replaced it with the receiving tube, a sharp metal tube that catches the incoming end of the needle. I didn't watch this part for fear of fainting, but he explained it to me blow-by-blow.

A little trickery on his end made the experience somewhat easier. He reassured me that he wasn't going to pierce me yet. Then the telephone began to ring. As he reached over to pick up the phone, I thought I'd been granted a few minutes' reprieve. Before I knew it, I felt a sharp pinch against the bottom of my penis, followed by "Okay, now I've pierced you." I was surprised at how little it hurt. My earring hurt more than this did.

He installed my jewelry, screwed in the balls, bandaged up my penis, and it was over. I was sweating profusely and was somewhat woozy when I tried to get up, so he asked me to lie down for a few minutes while he got me a cup of cold water. I was so proud of myself for not fainting.

He explained after-care procedure, and I went home.

THE AFTERMATH

I knew that urinating would be painful, so I did my best to prolong urination until I couldn't hold it any longer. When I finally couldn't hold it anymore, I asked my friends to ignore the screams of agony from the bathroom. My boyfriend accompanied me in case I had any problems, and also to see how I would now pee through two holes.

I unwrapped my package, and to my surprise, there was hardly any blood... just a few dried drops. I carefully removed the blood with a moist piece of tissue and began to pee. It wasn't excruciating to pee, just an annoying sting, not unlike the burning sensation you feel if you've ever had chlamydia (no comment).

As I started to clean up, I began feeling woozy again and told my boyfriend that I was feeling faint. The next thing I knew, I was on the bathroom floor, with my boyfriend slapping me back into consciousness. Apparently, I had passed out on the john, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I was frothing like a rabid dog. He helped me to the bed, where I recovered shortly thereafter. I survived the pierce, but I couldn't handle the pissing. How embarrassing!

One thing that had me really worried was getting a hard-on during the night... and I always do. So, before bed, I packaged up my penis really well and went to sleep. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't wake up in a pool of blood, even though I did get several hard-ons during the night.

It's only been 24 hours since I've had my pierce, and I don't expect to be using my penis anytime in the near future for anything but urinating. When I finally do again, I'm sure that both he and I will enjoy it very much.

A TIP

I don't know if this is bad or not, but one way I've discovered to prevent the burning while urinating is to hold the bottom hole shut. The urine then flows through the original urethral hole, and it stings a lot less.