So kids, next time you are bored in class, glance up at your history professor and ask yourself, "Does he have metal in his pants?"
At A Glance Author TripleHelix Contact TripleHelix@bme.anon When It just happened Artist Jessica Studio Saints and Sinners Location Baltimore, MD When I teach, I favor blazers, black turtlenecks, and jeans. Not overly conservative, but hardly cutting-edge fashion, either. But underneath the tweed jacket I have half a dozen tattoos, including one quite large one on my upper arm (saving that for another experience). I wear a 10 ga septum retainer, flipped up of course, and a 2 ga tongue stud that you may catch a glimpse of if I'm not careful.
Plus I have an eight-rung frenum ladder and a PA. The ladder has been a project of the last 8 months or so. I swear, it started as just one. My PA stretched so much that it is uncomfortable to wear a ring of sufficient weight in it, and so I needed some more weight down there. I went to Saints and Sinners in Baltimore and saw the lovely Jessica about remedying the situation. She was more than happy to comply.
The piercing room is in the back. I would not call it aseptic (whose idea was it to cover the ceiling in orange fur?), but Jessica's technique was sterile and I was comfortable with it. Everything is autoclaved and in sterile packages, she uses at least two pairs of gloves with every piercing, etc. And I have now had her do nine piercings and have never had an infection or any other significant problem.
The piercing itself was a breeze. We did it with a 10ga ring. She marked the spot, let me check it with a mirror, told me to breathe. There was a brief sharp pinch and that was it. No blood, and the pain subsided almost immediately. Almost anti-climactic. But I loved the look and went out the door grinning.
The ring proved to pinch and twist, so a few days later I asked her to swap it out for a straight barbell. The pain I'd been having subsided almost immediately. I have stuck with barbells ever since.
A couple of weeks later I stuck my head in at Saints and Sinners again. Jessica smiled and greeted me and asked how "it" was doing. "Fine," I said, "Except that it's lonely." Jessica grinned and pulled out the paperwork. We did just one more that time, also with a barbell. Also no problems.
In the meantime, I'd begun to stretch the first frenum. An 8 ga and then a 6 ga ring went in very easily, and then every couple of days I would notice daylight in the hole. I got all excited and started putting in bigger and bigger pieces to fill the hole. Within a six weeks it stretched itself to 0 ga. This was in fact bigger than I had wanted to go. I now wear an acrylic piece in it most of the time to keep it from stretching bigger, although a 00ga would probably fit in it. I had a tunnel in it for a while, but it kept slipping out. I love the look of the tunnel but it's been impractical. I'm looking for a tunnel with extra large flares so that maybe I can keep it in, but watch out, anyone interested in this look. O rings seem to add friction, but in my case it wasn't enough. Tunnels just may not be practical in a piercing that receives a lot of, ah, wear and tear.
After that, the dam sort of broke. A few weeks later I needed more. I went for a pair that time, giving me three 10 ga rungs plus the giant first one. But that didn't even reach halfway down my shaft. That was no good at all. So after those healed, I had to get another pair. With 5+1 rungs, when I was soft, the ladder seemed to span my shaft, but not when I was hard. I loved the look, but it was clearly incomplete.
I let it rest for about 2 months, and last week I popped in to Saints and Sinners again. Jessica was, as always, glad to see me. I told her I wanted another pair of rungs. We did the paperwork and I paid. When we went back and she looked at me, she said, "Oh! I'd forgotten how many we'd done!" Okay, so now I'm getting hard, which actually seems to make this piercing easier, if perhaps somewhat bloodier. She marks me, I check, we do the old in and out (breathing, that is), and bam, one, and bada-bing, two.
Ah, now it looks complete. Any more and they would overlap and twist around each other when I sit. As it is, I only occasionally have to adjust my pants--it's mostly very comfortable. And I love the weight down there. Just walking, I am often reminded of it and it adds a little swagger to my step. I am fairly active--I do martial arts--and as long as I don't wear steel rings I never have a problem. Rarely there's a little jingle, but I don't think anyone's noticed.
The sexual aspect is great for me, though my experience with it is limited to oral. The straight barbells create ridges down my shaft that feel wonderful when licked or stroked. Jessica and I experimented with curved barbells for a couple of the middle rungs, but a) the (externally threaded) balls kept falling off and b) I didn't get those nice ridges. So we swapped them out for straight barbells and I've stuck with them ever since. Healing has been easy--I follow a relaxed regimen of LITHA (leave it the hell alone) plus as-needed cleaning in the shower and with H2Ocean.
All in all, a great experience. I don't need any more frenum piercings, it's almost sad to say--but there's always a scrotal ladder to consider!
Some might think that a middle-aged man who is in regular contact with youth culture might do this to be or to feel cool. That may be for some, but not in my case. This is something I do for myself, because it makes me feel complete. It gives me a balance in my life and helps keep me on track in my professional life and with my family. I love the ritual aspect of getting pierced and the mild flirtation with my lovely piercer. It also gives me a thrill to go to a black-tie dinner in a room stuffed with apparent Republicans and think, "I bet I've got more genital piercings than anyone in this room."
Or do I?