At A Glance
Author	Skip
Contact	Skip@bme.anon
IAM	Skip3s
When	A week ago
Location	Bucks County, Pa

Prelude

When I originally started writing this experience (the day I ordered my equipment) I had planned on entitling this experience "First Time on My Own". I wrote the introduction, wrote about my decision making, and then finally included links to the equipment I ordered. I was anxious, I wanted to experience what I had read about so many people before me accomplishing. I wanted a feeling of self-gratification and commitment that I felt would only be accomplished through self-piercing, to really experience the whole piercing ritual fully within myself. The following is what ended up happening and the resulting respect and knowledge gained.

The Experience

It had been about 3 months since I first started considering piercing myself. The idea had come to me after reading through many self-piercing experiences, but rational thought always won over. "You're going to end up hurting yourself", "You won't be able to go through with it, as soon as you feel the tip of the needle against your flesh you'll stop". Thoughts like these plagued my mind continuously over the months, I mean seconds, before I finally decided I would go through with piercing myself.

So far every piercing up to this point had been facial or ears. I wanted something different, something that wouldn't be seen by many, if only one or two people at the most. The idea to pierce my scrotum had come to me quite quickly; the decision was about a two month long process of looking through pictures and reading up on experiences, technique and dangers. I discussed the idea with my girlfriend, I wouldn't be seeing her for about 6 months and wouldn't have to really worry about it getting stressed from playful activity. She looked through pictures with me, and in the end, agreed with me when I told her I was going to pierce my scrotum, just below the shaft of my penis, by myself. The placement I decided on, the scrotal raphe, could in some circumstances be considered a Lorum. The actual placement of the piercing low on the raphe however led me to classify this as a scrotal piercing.

I ordered my supplies from BMEshop; looking through their selection of jewelry and needle sizes, I decided on a 12 gauge industrial strength needle and 12 gauge 9/16" titanium captive bead ring. During the time I waited for my supplies I pretty much put the knowledge that I was going to pierce myself, and my scrotum no less, to the back of my mind. I did this so as not to burn out my nerves before I was even ready to go through with the act.

When the supplies arrived I checked everything out to make sure it was all still sealed and the needle sterile. I wanted to get it done quick so I wouldn't back out, but decided against it. Originally I wanted to go through with the piercing after dinner so that I would have something in my stomach and assure I would have time sit around and not aggravate the fresh piercing by having to run errands. Realizing Bowling with Weirdoes was the next day, I decided on waiting till after the event and doing it that night. My other intention was that since dinner would not be till later at night, I would be able to get a shower and perform the procedure there. Now I have read plenty experiences and suggestions that while stretching a warm shower helps relax the skin, making it a bit more pliable and a bit less painful. I have not however read anything on applying this same thinking to piercing, and decided to try it out since I had to shave and clean the area anyway.

I got into the shower that night intending to have it done within a few minutes. Shaved, cleaned, ready to go. I took up the packaged needle, opened it and set the package down (with the needle still in it) on the small shower shelf. I did the same with the titanium ring after adjusting it with ring pliers. Bending the showerhead down, I backed up, took the needle in hand and lined it up. I breathed in and out trying to collect my nerves, for at this point the reality of the situation (I'm about to shove a tri-beveled hollow needle) through a part of my scrotum). To say the least, I did ended up not pushing the needle through the skin. Turned everything off, dried off, repackaged the equipment best I could, and left the bathroom.

Quite disappointed in myself that I could not come to commit myself to something I had been wanting, I decided to try again. I set out everything on my desk, sat on my chair with boxers drawn down, and leaned back. I checked for veins this time (something that slipped my mind the first time) and found where I wanted to pierce. Again , I pulled up the skin, took the needle and lined it up. Touching the tip of the needle to the skin a bit of pain shot up through me, was that needle ever sharp. I pushed gently testing out the proverbial water, and found it not as painful as I originally thought. I kept a controlled breathing pattern, breathing in for four seconds and breathing out for 6 seconds to keep my nerves about me. I pushed harder; I didn't make a sound, but I know for a fact the pain showed on my face as I felt myself wince. Most the beveled tip has gone through the first side and I could feel a bit of soreness about the entrance point. I attempted to push harder yet again in order to pass the bulk of the needle through this point and create an exit point on the opposite side of skin. I felt the usual pain, it wasn't as painful as my septum in the least, but still comparable as it was a different type of pain, more of an extreme soreness after a pinch than a pinch itself.

My hand was shaking; I had been drinking sugar engulfed drinks most of the day in anticipation, but it seemed like the underlining anxiety of me doing this to myself was taking over. The needle must have sat partially pierced through my scrotum for about 5 minutes; I could not bring myself to push anymore let alone stop my hand from what seemed to be its own agenda of shaking and wanting to pull the needle back instead of forward through the skin. Sadly, I pulled the needle from my flesh, the tip covered by blood, sat it down, and held a paper towel against the wound till the little bit of bleeding stopped. I was defeated by my own anxiety and embedded "rational thinking".

Conclusions

After cleaning up, re-dressing in some clean clothes and coming to partial-terms with my disappointment in myself not being able to pierce myself, I realized that while not I failed in adorning myself with a new piece of jewelry, I did learn two things. Primarily that those who self pierce have more than just a great amount of dedication, but a great deal of drive as well. I originally took this drive to pierce for granted, not thinking that it was as important as it truly is. I considered myself dedicated to piercing myself in that I researched, purchased proper equipment, and took necessary steps to ensure a healthy and sanitary piercing experience in attempt to avoid complications. Lacking however, was the necessary magnitude of drive that those who successfully pierce themselves have. From a large amount of reading experiences, it seems that it comes mostly from the necessity to have to pierce themselves, whether it be lack of parental consent/fund/shops or drive from a spiritual/ritualistic need. Either way, while I did not successfully pierce myself, I find that the experience of attempting to do so partially fulfilled my initial intentions.

Secondly I found a new boundary to work towards surpassing. I realize that it would be easy to just go and have it done professionally, or to just grab a sharp object, suck it up and shove it through without thorough thought or thinking. However, that's completely contradictory to how I tend to operate; I tend to need meaning, well thought out plans and research before I take up something for myself.

Finally, if you are reading this looking for information on piercing your scrotum, please realize that no amount of preparation will truly enable you to go through with it. If you are going to pierce yourself, please be sure to take the time to educate yourself on technique, placement and equipment to ensure your safety and a healthy happy piercing.