At A Glance Author rip Contact rip@bme.anon IAM rip When A week ago Artist myself This was done July 16th, 2004 which is one day before the actual new moon. This is relevant because although this was a new moon fertility ritual, it wasn't technically the new moon. The mood was right, the feeling was there.
I had been considering a hafada piercing for numerous reasons; I have wanted new genital piercings for some time, and the look of the hafada was interesting to me. Scrotal stimulation is nice as well, and I wondered in my mind what a larger sized circular barbell or CBR would feel like in a piercing there. Additionally, as with most piercings past & present, I would do it myself. I chose a fertility rite because I'm in the midst of making some major life changes - career, education, and location. I wanted to really focus myself on these things as I had never done before, really direct my energy and concentration into their growth and prosperity intensely. I wanted fruition and success in these endeavors. A piercing or a ritual itself would not "make it happen", but I would. The piercing is simply a symbolic marking of that will and of course a nice byproduct is any additional stimulation I get from it.
I monitor the moon, via a software program and verifying it visually and with the National Weather Service. On the preceding full moon (approx. June 31st), I began meditating every other day. I visualized the things I do that stand in the way of me achieving my goals and began realizing ways to overcome my fears, negative emotions, laziness, and lack of motivation by doing so. In a way, as the moon waned so did the things I did to hold myself back. My mental preparation in this manner was new ground; I simply had never set out to do anything like this. I knew well that in 1/2 a moon cycle all my problems wouldn't magically vanish - but that's okay with me because I'm not looking for magic. I'm looking for me. I am sure many more moon cycles will pass before I'm satisfied.
As the new moon approached, I got more and more excited. I felt ready to go forward with this and by the time the 16th had rolled around I was excited to do it. No one was home, I felt good all around. The time was right, and the opportunity to do this without worry of interruption or intrusion was there.
I will forward a little about my beliefs here, it is relevant to this working. First of all, I don't believe in spooks, spirits, gods, goddesses, devils, demons, the easter bunny, the Great Pumpkin or Santa Claus. I do believe in the power of the mind. So I don't really pray to anyone but myself. Something to the effect of "Oh Rip, don't fuck this up!". The sensory stimuli that ritual provides tends to heighten my senses, awareness, my will. So when I light candles, burn incense, and represent the main elements of the universe (earth, air, water, fire, electricity) I do it in my own version, my own way, my own idea - because it's for me. These things being present, their sights and smells and tastes and feelings bring something out of me that nothing else can, and that's why I do ritual. That's also why I choose to pierce myself. This is about self transformation, not asking some higher power to hand me a free ride. If I need to make my office look like the set of a satanic cult horror movie in order to get myself where I need to be, then so be it. And that's pretty much what it looked like.
I own some piercing tools, for my own personal use. Pennington forceps, check. All I had for needles was a 14g. I had a 12g insertion taper though, and a 12g x 3/4" ring. The only thing not sealed in an autoclave bag was the ring, I had worn it before, so I took an old toothbrush and scrubbed it well under hot water to best remove anything on the surface, but nothing was apparent. I soaked it in alcohol. Not the cleanest way, but it would do. Single use packet of lube, cork, alcohol swabs, rubber band, Sharpie marker.
I marked and checked the placement both hard and soft. I only moved the marks once, though, because I wanted it placed about halfway up the scrotum so that a 3/4" ring's bead would rest between my balls. I didn't want it too high, because I like vaginal intercourse and didn't want it to be in the way for that. When I was satisfied with the marking, I proceeded with the ritual.
Candles were lit. Incense was burned. Tools were laid out. Elements were represented. Some low, non-distracting ambient music was put on. I sat cross legged on the floor naked, facing West, to the direction of fire. I meditated. New Moon, the closing of the past and the opening of the new. The waxing moon signifies growth, fertility and prosperity. Bind yourself to it and you will grow as the moon grows. I visualized. I visualized myself already successful and working on my next set of goals. With this image in my mind, and focusing on this image as best I could, I rose to my knees and applied the forceps (rubber banded) to the place I had marked. With a slightly lubed needle in one hand and forceps and cork in the other I line up the shot. I touched the needle to the skin and didn't feel anything. I closed my eyes and breathed in, and as I did took the needle into myself. It felt GOOD. I exhaled and opened my eyes. Another needle and cork in a happy engagement. I carefully pushed the needle so that the last maybe 1/4" of the end of it was out one side. I picked up the 12g taper and dipped it in the puddle of lube and mated it with the back of the needle. I slowly pushed the taper through, and felt it a bit more that the actual piercing, and that felt good too. The ring fit into the back of the taper and it went right through without a complication. I gently turned it through and snapped the bead into it. Although I was extremely aroused, I briefly "closed" the ritual, snap a quick picture, and then went and cleaned myself up with some warm water and antibacterial soap. There was a tiny drop of blood on the taper, other than that, everything looked great.
Things were fine until the 4th day or so, when I noticed an irritation on one side of it. It was red and the ring kept getting exceptionally crusty, despite my careful cleaning. That 12g ring was low quality and it was most apparent now. It wasn't the smoothest/shiniest ring I have seen, and I bet this meant it had a more porous surface on it if you looked at it under a microscope. I pulled gently on the ring, and noticed I could see light through the other side. Seems to have stretched itself, which is something I noticed my frenums and lorums used to do when I had them. It had just never happened so quickly after the piercing that I'd noticed. This was a blessing in disguise because I had a nice shiny Anatometal 10g circular barbell in a clave bag - I used to wear it in my nipple when that piercing was open. I cleaned the piercing and removed that 12g ring and threw it right in the garbage. The 10g slid right through with no resistance at all. The irritation went away later that day, and the amount of crud on the ring reduce dramatically. All is well now.
As for the results of the ritual, well, one day at a time I self discipline myself. I have had less negativity in my mind, I've had more positive approaches. I took a renewed zeal in my exercise that has actually stuck with me. I lost 6 pounds, which I needed. I'm not expecting my life to turn around in 1/2 a moon cycle. I'm setting goals for myself, and trying to meet them in a set amount of time. So far, it's working.
Don't buy crap jewelry! If you do, don't ever put it in a piercing, especially a fresh one! You shouldn't read this and go try and pierce yourself either. You should always see a professional. I could have seriously and permanently injured myself. As for the ritual for yourself? I do recommend that to whoever reads this though. You don't need to believe in anything but yourself.