Jacob's Step Stool (or How I Learned to Love the Safety Pin)

At A Glance Author Creeper Contact skammunism@netzero.net Artist Me Studio My bathroom Location Chandler, AZ

Let me start by saying this: putting a safety pin through the skin on your penis is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Ok, now that I have your attention (I learned that using the word penis will get you a lot of attention), I'd like to tell you the story of how I gave myself a couple frenum piercings or as I like to call it "Jacob's step stool."

Anyway, this all started when I was 16 (yes, I know that minors shouldn't get piercings and whatever and ever, but modifications transcend age to me). After having my ears pierced, I felt a rush of freedom of expression and knew that I had somehow unleashed the true me that had been hiding deep inside of me (I now understand this to be my innerself attempting to match my outerself to create harmony). After a failed attempt to gauge my ears (my mom said "one earring in each ear is more than enough"), I knew that I needed to modify myself in a way that my mother wouldn't find out (and that would give me a chance to show off my penis hehe). I really hadn't planned it out or anything, but one morning the urge just hit me. I had to pierce my frenum. I tried to dissuade myself but something inside called me to put the safety pin in my penis.

So, I gathered (what I thought were) the necessary parts: a safety pin, an earring, hydrogen peroxide, and a couple of q-tips. I dumped some H2O2 on the q-tips and cleaned everything around the area, the earring, and the safety pin. I don't know how, but somehow I just grabbed the safety pin and pushed it through the area that I wanted it. It seemed crooked, so I gave it another try. I don't know exactly how many times I did this, but it must have been around ten.

Surprisingly, I felt little to no pain during this. I don't know whether I have a high tolerance for pain or whether I really do have the ability to block out pain as I tell others when they asked if it hurt. I think it might just be that it's a mental thing and that if you really try, you can ignore the pain of a piercing, but that's an entirely seperate article in itself.

After finally deciding it was straight, I tried to put the earring in, but I lost the hole and had to repierce it. Yes, once again I had to pierce and repierce until my anal retentive, perfectionist self was happy. I decided I should give it some time to heal before putting the earring in. Of course, having just a safety pin in it didn't stop me from showing it off. There was slight discomfort during the day due mainly to the fact that a safety pin should never be used for piercing or jewelry.

I came home from school and put the earring in with minor discomfort. But, I needed another one. I still don't know why I wanted it so bad, but I knew that I had to do the next one (kind of like "the power of satan compels you" I guess). So, the next one went in similar fashion (with all of the same multiple holes) and now I had my wonderful Jacob's step stool. It really looked great and within a couple days it healed up nice (or so I thought).

I used lots of hydrogen peroxide and q-tips to clean it (my mom was starting to wondered why anyone would need that much H2O2 and q-tips). I cleaned it about three times a day and it was looking good. However I noticed that they seemed to have less and less skin around them as time went on. Once again, this didn't stop me from showing the world.

I think it would've turned out fine except for one thing: it was too small and threaded due to frequent nocturnal erections and because my girlfriend tugged, sucked, and played with it too much. So, after a couple months I decided they needed to go and I took them out for good. I still haven't been able to understand why I wanted them so bad. I don't even want them now that they're gone, but I guess it's just one of those things. Sometimes you just have to follow your urges to achieve happiness.

The moral of the story: 18 gauge jewelry is worthless. If you want to pierce something, get someone that knows what they're doing. 'Cause although I felt no pain, you might end up trying to get a straight piercing through tears (everyone is different). Oh! And don't let anyone suck on your new piercings 'cause it tends to cause more pain than pleasure (unless you're into that kinda thing).