Apadravya – 4 March 2008 – Springfield, MO
At A Glance Author arsdigitas Contact arsdigitas@bme.anon When It just happened Artist Qui Qui Studio Kaleidoscope Location Springfield, MO
When I left the house this afternoon, my purpose was to go off to wal-mart, grab a bite to eat, and check out the electronic drum kits over at Guitar Center. I ate, got supplies, jammed out and, lacking anything terribly pressing to do, I told my wife that I wanted to get my lip pierced. She thought I was joking, so I said "well, maybe I'll get my dick pierced instead..."
So, on the way home we stopped off at Kaleidoscope (The local hippie store / piercing place). I'm not sure what possessed me to actually ask about genital piercing, but after discussing it with Liz and Qui Qui, I decided that I'd get one of the variety of things done to mine, if she'd do her hood while we were there.
Now, we've both had piercings before, but an apadravya is *not* a nose ring or cartilage piercing. My wife also has a full back tattoo, a tongue piercing, a nose ring, half a dozen earrings, and has given birth to a real live child... her pain tolerance is *way* above mine.
She agreed to the deal, so I went in the little room and took off my pants. I discussed the various types of male jewelry, as well as my options for how many holes I wanted and where. I looked at a few pictures, and I decided that the best aesthetic was the apadravya.
I had read the literature before. A long time ago, before I ever thought of actually doing it.
I'd love to tell you more about the experience, but all I really remember is the marker, the pinch of the clamps, and the worst, most searingly horrible pain I've ever felt in my life. I've broken ribs, I've cracked my skull, I've been to a slayer concert... Nothing even compares to the sheer purity of the pain involved in an apadravya. The worst of it only lasts a couple of seconds, and every body is different. So your milage may vary.
Anyway, everything went fuzzy about the time that the needle went in. I screamed pretty loud apparently. Since Dani (my wife) was in the waiting room watching our 2 year old, she got to see a store full of people stop dead in their tracks and look at the piercing room door.
For me, everything went hot. The room felt about 30 degrees warmer. I had a few good moments to meditate, and I got the opportunity to talk to a very talented, very professional piercer about what I'd just done, willingly, to my most sensitive of areas.
When I came back to earth, I felt like I had slammed my junk in a car door...
It fucking hurt.
I was glad I'd peed beforehand, because Big John just wasn't up to the task. I was told before I went in that sex was gonna be a *big* no-no for the first couple of months, but after the fact, it was perfectly clear to me that there wasn't going to be anything touching my dick until this thing healed up good and solid.
So gentlemen, here are my tips for a good genital piercing:
1: piss beforehand. Twice if you can. I tried to pee about 4 hours after I came home. I shot a couple seconds worth of blood and muck before the urine had cleared its proper exit. AND IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!!!
2: The 2 or three seconds of pain is nothing compared the feeling of being a complete and total badass for having a 10 gauge piece of surgical steel hanging through the head of your dick.
3: don't read any more personal stories of other people getting this piercing. I'm serious. I did the necessary research **well** in advance, and didn't remember anything about it when it came time to choose. I just knew that somewhere in the past I had decided "apadravya or nothing". When I came home to read the forums again, I was terrified. I would never have had nearly as pleasant an experience if I had read all of the horror stories before going in.
4: Don't be nervous. Trust your piercer, trust yourself, and understand that the more relaxed you are, the better its all going to go.
5: if you happen to have some oxycodone left over from the last time you did something stupid and wound up in an ER, TAKE IT WITH YOU. I do not personally believe that anyone should get pierced while on drugs. So take the painkiller *after* you've had the deed done. Besides, part of the point of this particular piercing is the physical act of crossing through a metaphoric threshold. Be it a pain threshold, and personal threshold, or simply the act of consecrating an idea that means something to you. I recommend you be actively aware of the process taking place. But do take something for the pain as soon as possible afterward. I'm not joking when I say it * F U C K I N G * HURTS!!
6. You may bleed a lot. You may not bleed much at all. Regardless, we're talking about a very vascular area. You may wish to stop at wal-greens and pick up some sanitary pads and a few pairs of tighty-whities. Otherwise, you best not plan on having any clean pants next week.
6.5: Speaking of pants... wear a very loose pair. It has been much more comfortable to let it all hang out today. I was recommended to wear tight fitting briefs. Which I will wear to bed to keep everything in place (and to put that panty-liner in) and hopefully prevent the sheets from being stained too badly.
7: Eat a good solid meal and drink plenty of water beforehand. BUT DO LIMIT YOUR FLUID INTAKE UNTIL YOU'VE GOT THE HANG OF PEEING. It's different now, and it burns like a sumbitch the first few times. Also, high pressure urination hurts the worst. So work on your 'just a few drops at a time' technique. Until then, pee often so there isn't any buildup in the bladder that would force the stream across your jewelry to hard or too fast. Urination is going to make it bleed again, so when you're finished, mop up any mess you may have created, and clean your junk. Use the stuff they give you. It feels good. Seriously.
8. If this thing in your dick were shrapnel, the army would give you a medal. Give yourself a medal. This is a serious piercing. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT ANYONE GET THIS AS THEIR FIRST *REAL* PIERCING. That said. It is my first 'real' piercing. I've had ears, cartilage, and eyebrows, but I decided today to walk in, lay down, and have a total stranger stab a giant piece of surgical steel through my penis. I'm glad I did it this way, because now anything else I do will be a cakewalk, but seriously. I am completely out of my mind for having done that.
9: bring a friend with a sympathetic ear. I'm a pussy and I whine a lot. Today I've whined, whimpered, and needed help bending over to pick shit up. Besides, you may want your friend to do the driving, especially if you followed tip number 5.
10: DO NOT EVER TAKE IT OUT. At least not for a good 6 -9 months. This shit hurts. It hurts in a way that most people would have no way to prepare for. Do you really want all that pain to be for nothing? It will close up *fast* so don't be stupid.
So anyway, it was over and I got to hang out in the lobby with Morgan (our 2 year old) while Dani went in to get hers done.
Hers looks way better. I wish I had a pussy, just so I could my hood pierced. Mmmm sexy.