I had my first apadravya experience almost a year ago in the late spring. I had gotten into piercings just a few months earlier when I decided that it would be attractive to have my nipple pierced. It hurt like hell, but I was hooked immediately. I got my frenum done shortly thereafter, and that made me feel special for a while, but it wasn't long before I was looking for another genital mod, another fix, something that would make me feel dangerous and desirable in what was rapidly becoming a relationship sustained by hurt and sterility.
At A Glance Author the niles Contact the niles@bme.anon IAM niles_durden When Six months ago Artist Danielle DeBonis Studio Artistic Skin Designs Location Indianapolis, IN Yup, I was getting piercings to cope. The pain of the piercings made the pain I was feeling internally something physical and identifiable, and the dangerous, socially-marginalized knowledge made me feel unique and sexy.
I bought a tube of Emla and a needle from the BMEshop with the intention of doing the piercing myself, but that didn't go so well. I got the PA side done alright, but I just couldn't get through the top. I've seen myself bleed a lot in past from injuries, but this was the first time it was caused by me. Kneeling in my own blood in the tub was – ah – disturbing. A couple days later, I steeled my resolve once again, and this time went to work with a sharpened paper clip since I'd disposed of the needle. I actually had more luck that time around but remained unsuccessful. A few days later, I was at Artistic.
With the help of the Emla, the piercing was ridiculously easy. The healing was not. I bled constantly, suffering through more than one day where it soaked through my bandage, then underwear, then jeans. With the additional pressure of my girlfriend-at-the-time's utter disgust, I took it out after about two weeks.
A bunch of time passed. I got a PA, then got rid of it, also because of the girlfriend. I got a really awesome pair of wrist piercings. And then I got rid of the girlfriend.
Or more appropriately, she got rid of me. I was pretty emotionally destroyed by this since I was planning on marrying this woman. It was my first serious relationship, and until the very end, I gave her everything I had. One of the first things I did when I moved out of our apartment was to get the apa done again.
I was feeling jerked around and needed some way to assert control over myself, to express my independence and individuality since so much of it had been defined by that woman and my relationship with her. Of course, this is all in retrospect; at the time, I just wanted to fucking hurt.
One thing that they don't tell you on the Emla tube is that your body becomes accustomed to it. Each time, it's slightly less effective, at least on me. I went in to Artistic with that I thought was a well-numbed penis, but received a rude awakening shortly thereafter.
It hurt a lot. Now, when I said I wanted pain, I meant the pain of recovery. To hell with the pain of a needle in my equipment. But I didn't have a choice. Research after the fact indicated that it probably hurt so bad because Danielle (the piercer) was punching through scar tissue, so I may have well left the Emla at home.
Yada yada, the healing process. It bled a lot again, but it didn't seem to be nearly as bad this time, possibly because I put in a much shorter barbell about a week after the piercing. The interesting thing was that while the PA had been fairly comfortable at 10 gauge, the apa was pinching constantly, waking me up multiple times per night and generally disrupting my life.
By the time all my belongings were out of the old apartment, I was thinking about a stretch. I bought all of my supplies and planned an evening around it, but as it turns out, I was almost an 8 anyway. The stretch was over before I knew what had happened, and it was significantly more comfortable.
At about this time, I took the wrist piercings out. My brother had moved to town, meaning that I was absorbing a lot more physical abuse than I was used to. The piercings had irretrievably migrated and were causing me constant pain when I mad that decision.
About six weeks ago, I started seeing this new chick who's alright with the apa. She knew about it, the reasoning behind it, by our second date, and she was totally accepting. It's a really weird feeling having someone appreciate me for who I am, and even now I find myself doubting or afraid.
When we'd been having sex for a couple of weeks, I told her I was considering taking the piercing out. I removed it every time we made love because it would have hurt both of us, so I thought taking away that barrier to our sexual relationship might bring us even closer.
She told me – and I will never forget this – that I could take it out if I wanted, but she knew what it symbolized for me, and she didn't want to be the cause of me giving up my symbol of freedom. Coolest chick ever, and I'm lucky to have her.
With her support, I recently stretched to 6 gauge, which took a lot of effort. After trying unsuccessfully myself, I wanted the piercer to do it, but after 30 minutes and a lot of sweat, she wasn't even half way through. I finally found a threaded taper, which combined with silicone sex lube, made it much easier.
One thing I've found to be difficult is that when I've got it out for extended periods for sex, the piercing closes enough that there's some pain on reinsertion. But perhaps another stretch will help with that.