Here's the story of how I became the owner of a nicely placed 14ga ampallang.
At A Glance Author Proaudio55 Contact Proaudio55@bme.anon When A week ago Artist Matt Studio Get to the point tattoos Location White Bear Lake, Minnesota I don't remember why, but I always wanted to get my "doodle" pierced; all the way through high school and college I had the desire, but lacked the courage. One thing led to another and I got my nipples pierced; with that I realized the whole piercing thing isn't too bad. I had a great experience and was very impressed by my Matt, my piercer. A year later I went back for a tattoo and that too, turned out awesome. (The point here is that I developed a good relationship with a qualified / experienced guy who ran an immaculate shop. Also, I started basic and worked my way up)
A month ago I finally landed a good job with an analytical laboratory and I figured it's time to celebrate / do something stupid. After a couple weeks of mulling over in my mind "wow, I really want to get my wanker pierced," I finally got the nerve and stopped by "Get to the point tattoos" to talk to Matt. He charged a flat rate of 50 bucks per piercing for anything "down south" (which is one heck of a deal). Matt was up-front that he hadn't done an amp before, but had done many other genital piercings and anticipated no problems. I felt comfortable with him and decided the next day would work best. He was willing to open early in morning and we would do it then. So the plan was set.
When I woke up that morning, I took 2 aspirin. (I know that you're not supposed to because it thins your blood and there might be excess bleeding. However, it was a risk I was willing to take.) I drove by myself and pulled up 15 min early; that gave me the opportunity to dwell on how bad this was going to hurt and finish my cola (to raise my blood sugar levels). Eventually I moseyed in the front door and he was ready. After signing away my life (and best friend), he locked the door to ensure privacy and we walked back to the piercing room.
While he stepped out to wash his hands, I looked over the prepared tools to verify they were packaged in autoclave envelopes. When he returned we had a bit of small talk and then got down to business. At this point he asked that I drop my drawers. I pulled everything down to about my knees then laid back on his table with my legs hanging down and best friend nicely positioned. He took a minute to check out my plumbing and decide roughly where to put the entry and exit points. (Once again I was impressed; he was strictly business and there was no embarrassment for either of us)
>From what he read, he thought going slightly above the urethra would be the best plan. Even though urine is sterile, the urethra is a mucus membrane and there is a much greater chance of infection / complications if you go through the middle. I agreed and he spent several minutes looking, studying, dotting, scrubbing off, and then re-marking until he was satisfied with the locations. He also wanted to use a clamp since it would make the whole thing go quicker and more accurately. So with a slight pinch, the clamp was in place and I was all set for the main event. Then came the simple question . . . "You ready?"
WHAM! The pain is difficult to describe. Thanks to the aspirin, it was not so much a stabbing sensation, but an overwhelming feeling of "wow, something's not right here." I didn't scream, I just got a death grip on the side of the table and then started feeling lightheaded. A second later I was graying-out when he said, "Hey! You there?? That's the worst of it. I'll give you a second to breathe." I had tunnel vision and was barely conscious when the barbell was inserted; the next thing I know, he says "How you feeling? You're all done".
I took a couple minutes to recover and while I did, he snapped a few photos his portfolio. After rubber banding on a latex glove, I wondered up front to pay him his 50 bucks (and I kicked in an extra 20. I mean really, they guy was handing my doodle and doing a weird piercing. That deserves a good tip if anything does.) I got the usual aftercare sheet and I hit the road with my new appliance.
As for bleeding . . . (I think I'm a freak) I had very VERY little!?! Before going to sleep the first night, I folded some paper towels into my undies. (I had read a few horror stories of "waking up in a puddle of blood" and wasn't going to let that happen.) In the morning there was just a half-inch-wide spot of blood, the second night there was a single droplet and after that, not a thing. Go figure . . .?? But I sure don't know. So anyhow, that's it and eventually I do plan on stretching this out to 8 or 6ga.
(Just a side note, for those of you with a sexual fantasy about getting this done: I have to say the whole experience was about as erotic as scrubbing the kitchen floor or chipping paint. My piercer was an expert and was completely professional while doing his job; this was definitely not a trip to "Fefe's house of pain")
FAQ's
Is it worth it / would I do it again?
Yeah, I would. It hurt pretty bad, but as they say "a moment of pain for a lifetime of pleasure"
How is sex with it?
I don't know. I've not had / not going to have sex for quite a while. However, once I get married, you can ask my wife. ;-)
Other comments?
For jewelry, I wouldn't suggest anything other than a standard barbell and properly sized. The first barbell I had was with cubic ends: BIG MISTAKE! The problem is that the ends have sharp edges and tend to get snag on clothing. Also, they're obviously not appropriate for intercourse. Stick with the basics, no matter how cool it might look.