How -NOT- to place an ampallang.

At A Glance Author Chad Trepanier Contact Chad Trepanier@bme.anon Artist Jim Studio Body Ritual Location Milwaukee, Wi

Having gone through the fun of a Prince Albert, my mind fairly quickly turned to deciding what my next flesh invasion would be. I had (before the PA) originally thought about getting an ampallang, but the general consensus seemed to be that it was a pretty rough piercing, and that i'd be best off starting with something a little less extreme (i'd already had my nips done, as well as several non-lobe ear piercings). The PA had gone swimmingly, mess aside, so about 6 months later i decided to give an amp the old college try.

I managed to find a time when i wouldn't be seeing my better half for a few weeks (best to keep temptation out of my way when i'm supposed to be healing a piercing), and i grabbed a buddy of mine who planned on getting his tongue pierced, and headed off to Body Ritual, where i get the majority of my work done. I was comfy with Jim, the piercer, 'cuz he had already done my PA, so i figured it would be a snap.

My friend got his tongue finished up, and then requested to stick around and watch the piercing. Not being the shy type, i didn't have much of a problem with this. Suddenly, pretty much -everyone- in the shop -- apprentices, tattooists, etc. wanted to watch, 'cuz most of them had never seen an amp done. I figured "what the hell". and we piled 8 or 9 people in a fairly small room.

I dropped trou, sat back, and my penis did a rapid exit to somewhere within my lower body cavity. After some coaxing, Jim got me out, cleaned, and clamped. We decided to go with a 10ga 3/4" or 1" barbell...i didn't notice it at the time, but he neither checked (or had me check) placement while erect, or really bothered to check the placement with me. I was probably too nervous and full of adrenaline to really think at that point, otherwise i'd have definately questioned his procedures.

Micah (my friend) was no help whatsoever. He decided to amuse himself by standing near my head and whispering things along the lines of "You're gonna cry..and you're gonna bleed...and you're gonna faint...". With friends like these....

After everything was in readiness, i began doing the usual breathing exercises, and told Jim to go on 3. Unlike my PA, i could -definately- feel exactly where the needle was when it was going through...it also felt like a much longer pierce, time-wise. I let out a pretty guttural grunt, and he (finally!) got the needle all the way through. After that, it was pretty easy -- the jewelry inserion was by no means pleasant, but compared to the earlier pain, it was a cakewalk. The much-storied glove got slapped on, and we headed out to lunch. By the way...if you ever get the chance to see someone with a fresh tongue piercing try to eat a gyro, don't pass it up. It's worth it.

Being a dork, i decided to give the piercing a "dry run", if you will, after 3 or 4 days. I figured, hey, i waited a week before playing with the PA to no ill effect, i'll jump the gun a little. It wasn't too terribly painful, but i did end up bleeding from one side, which is disconcerting, to say the least.

Time went on. I began, especially after sex turned out to be fairly painful, to doubt the placement of the jewelry....i had imagined the amp to be pretty dead-center, but mine seemed awefully high..it almost looked like it was sitting on top of the head of my penis. After some consultation with my GF and another piercer, we determined that i had a nice little surface-to-surface penis piercing, which was, while cool in it's own unique way, nothing like what i had intended. I removed the jewelry to let the hole heal, and discovered that Jim (my former piercer) was let go from the shop soon after that for a multitude of reasons -- evidently he was very hit-or-miss, and that's not exactly a good quality in the world of piercing. It did leave me with some interesting scarring for use as a conversation piece, though.

I do eventually plan on redoing the ampallang (hopefully at a steep discount :P), but i've yet to really have the time/desire to baby a new piercing as much as it's necessary. Plus, while it was in no way unbearable, it was definately painful, so i'd like to make sure it gets done correctly this time. :)

Any questions about this (or my other experiences) are more than welcome -- just use the anon gateway provided, and if you aren't too scary-sounding i'll mail you back :)