Life is constantly changing. While this seems like a rather generic and obvious statement, so many significant realizations can come from acceptance of that fact. What may seem like a constant one day may not be the next. This is how modification has become for me.
At A Glance Author Dawn Contact Dawn@bme.anon When A month ago Artist Marea Studio Tattooed Heart Location Lafayette, IN For two and a half years, I put my emotional and intellectual energy into various forms of modification, as well as a significant portion of my financial resources. I fixated upon the shine of small metal beads in my piercings and the feeling of fulfillment that came with each suspension. I challenged myself and the beliefs of the micro-culture surrounding me. I adored the aesthetics of the changes but also used it as an excuse to ignore the real problems plaguing my mind and body.
The last couple of years were turbulent not because of modification, but in spite of it. I fed my mind information about jewelry, types of piercings, styles of tattoos, proper piercing techniques and cleanliness, and so on. I turned away from literature, my college courses, and scientific journals, though. I adorned my body parts with beautiful jewelry, glittering and encased in well-healed holes, but failed to exercise or eat consistently well. Today I have my piercings and tattoo which were saving graces at the time, but I sit here, overweight, struggling academically, and frustrated with how I have not changed enough to keep up with the pace of life.
Two days after my 18th birthday, I got my navel pierced with a 14ga CBR. At the time, I was optimistic and assured myself that although I wasn't in shape at the time, I would be soon. I'm now 30 pounds heavier than I was then. My navel truly is a symbol in my mind of my broken promises to myself. I removed the jewelry after a year because of sports. It had migrated slightly and left a fairly thick lump of scar tissue behind. The scar was unremarkable to me because it was just another unsightly blemish on a generally unattractive stomach.
Another year slid by, full of many good and many bad experiences. I decided that I wanted to have it re-pierced, only at a larger gauge this time. All of the things that I had been thinking about before I got it pierced the first time came rushing back to me. Where was the body that I promised myself? Or the grades for that matter. For me, the accomplishment of getting pierced and healing a piercing had served as a surrogate for reaching important, real-life milestones.
This time I acknowledged to myself that it was not going to be the first step in a progression of life affirming changes or any sort of great revelation. It may be true for some, but not for me. It was going to be a ring holding open a perforation in my skin. This perforation would decorate me and make me smile when I saw it, but not fix my life. While suspensions had opened my eyes in ways that I could not imagine, the act itself fixed nothing, it's a matter of how I process that experience and then take action.
I went to Tattooed Heart in Lafayette, Indiana to get my navel re-pierced at 10ga. I talked to Kristy, the owner, initially. She had been piercing for longer than the other piercer at the shop, her once apprentice, Marea, but Kristy was much less comfortable with atypical piercings. Large gauge work is fairly unusual in this area. We discussed the pros and cons of CBRS versus barbells. I had a preference for curved barbells, having worn both a barbell and CBR in the previous piercing but I was willing to try the larger gauge CBR, thinking it would be more comfortable than its thinner predecessor. Kristy was going to do the piercing, but I realized that I had only just brought enough money for the piercing and not enough extra for a tip. I decided that it was enough coincidence for me to wait for a day when Marea was working. Marea was less experienced as a piercer but I was extremely confident in her abilities and I was more than willing to serve as only the second 10ga navel that she had done. Previously, she had done a cleavage piercing on me with a well-crafted surface bar that months later was still quite healthy, so I was satisfied with her skill and the piercing knowledge that she had acquired working in the field for the past few years.
I selected a simple stainless steel 10ga CBR of her suggested diameter and had my ID photocopied after filling out the usual forms. I was a bit frazzled after having driven across town to two different ATMs because of banking network malfunctions so Marea was a bit concerned about my comfort during the procedure because I probably came across as much more worried than I actually was. I had had no pain during my first navel piercing and very little discomfort when receiving hooks in my stomach skin, so I knew that a single 10ga needle would not be much of an issue. The clamps were more irritating than any other part of the ordeal. The entire thing was over in the blink of an eye. I paid and tipped her, very satisfied with the placement and straightness of the piercing. I went away with the warning that it would probably bleed more than my previous piercing, and indeed it did. The bleeding was not to a level that caused worry however, only happened when I moved a great deal, and subsided completely by the next day.
Aftercare was relatively simple because I just incorporated my navel into my twice daily showers in which I wash all of my other piercings at the same time. I take extremely hot showers and this is generally sufficient for soaking build-up out of piercings. While I know that it's considered an antiquated approach, I do use a little bit of anti-bacterial soap on it. I find that it works very well for me as long as I bear a few things in mind. I never use it on my pubic region/genital piercings and am careful about how it is rinsed off of my body. Yeast infections can develop rather quickly with regular use of antibacterial soaps. I always rinse the piercing very, very thoroughly to ensure that no soap is left in the piercing. If it seems to be excessively dry, I'll cut back on the soap and add the tiniest amount of vitamin E oil to the edges of the hole. It's healing well now. I might add that my weight hasn't had a significant impact on the piercing because the shape of the stomach is more important than size when it comes to navel piercings. I wear my pants low on my hips and my stomach doesn't "fold in," so I naturally have suitable anatomy for it. The 10ga CBR has proved to be significantly more comfortable than its 14ga counterpart. I waited about a month before I began sleeping on my stomach again.
I look to the future, again with optimism, but I don't expect modification to be a constant presence of solace in my life any longer. For me, it is there to enhance, not to replace.