For as long as I can remember I've disliked how I looked. I've always felt ugly, and fat, and hated my belly especially. I always wanted to be pretty, and the people I thought were prettiest were the ones with piercings. My parents however, were Jehovah's Witnesses, and wouldn't let me get anything done.
At A Glance Author piink lemonade Contact piink lemonade@bme.anon When Two years ago Artist can't remember Studio Taboo Tribal Location England Finally, on my 16th birthday, I realised that they couldn't stop me making myself pretty. A friend who knew of my dislike for my body had given me a bar as an incentive to overcome the fear of disobeying my parents, and my faith (at that point, although, it wasn't to be for long). And so, the day after my birthday (a Saturday) I walked into the local piercing shop that I always gazed at as we went by.
I'd though about what to get done for a long time, and had eventually decided to try and make my ugly belly prettier by getting my navel done. However, a million people at my school had their navels done, and although they all looked nice, I wasn't a huge fan of being the same as everyone else. So, I decided to get an inverse navel done, as I'd seen no one with that done. I'd dragged a friend with me who already had her belly button pierced and on the way had questioned her about it, she had said that it was painful, and so understandably, I was a little nervous.
I went in, and asked if they would pierce my navel on the bottom, and they said yes. Then they showed me a selection of bars, and told me that they would pierce me with the bar that I had as they didn't know what it was made of, and so could cause am allergic reaction. No matter what I said, they wouldn't do it. I was disappointed because the aim of getting pierced was to make me feel prettier, and I wanted a specific bar. But, I bowed to their professional judgement, and picked another bar, which was almost as pretty.
I had to wait a while as they had to finish a nipple piercing, and so I waited, getting more and more scared. I tried to calm myself down by looking at all the photos of tattoos and piercings on eth wall, and thinking about how I could make myself more beautiful. Finally, the piercer told me to come through. A TV in the corner of the room was on, and under the sound of that was the whine of a tattoo machine, a guy with long hair sat in the opposite corner to me was staring entranced at the TV while getting a tattoo on his arm. I made my way to the bed against the wall, and was told to lie down with my head the opposite way to normal so that the guy could do the piercing properly. I didn't want to see the needle (me being a wuss and all) so a listened to him taking it out of the package, and as he was doing so he talked me through what was going to happen and how to look after it, and make sure it healed properly. Then we had to wait for the bar to be cleaned. Finally, everyt hing was ready. My piercer spayed me with a freezing spray (I don't know what it was) and clamped me.
I shut my eyes and braced myself.
"I'm just going to move this clamp" my best friend had got her navel pierced by the same guy, and he told her this, and pierced her instead of moving the clamp, so I braced myself further, and then immediately relaxed as I felt the needle enter my skin. I hurt less than an injection, infact, I almost enjoyed the whole process, as I knew it would make me fee better about myself.
In a surprisingly short amount of time he was telling me "there you go", I got up, and looked in the mirror and fell in love. My previously ugly belly that I tried not to look at was pretty. We went shopping after that, and I was out most of the night dancing and none of this affected it.
I washed it when I was in the shower, and every evening cleaned it with salt water. Even so, it took nearly a year to heal, and still, I think, is not fully healed. I only recently changed the bar, to a BCR, which was what I originally wanted, and I don't think that I will ever change it again.
This ring of plain metal through the bottom of my navel signifies more than just beauty to me. Although its main meaning is one of beauty, beauty that I see in myself now that I have it, it also signifies rebirth. I never really saw anything the same after I had this done. I left my faith, and stopped being a Jehovah's Witness after getting it because I couldn't see how something which helped me feel so much better about myself, and helped me accept myself for what I truly was, was evil and wrong to do. It started me on the road to becoming truly myself, and admitting that what I was inside wasn't the same as my friends, wasn't the same as anyone I knew. Previously to getting it I had been trying, had been trying all my life, to fit in with what my parents and so called 'friends' all though I should be. Having my navel pierced helped me see that I didn't need to try and fit in, I was, and still am perfect and beautiful as I am now. I don't need to fit in.