THE NOTE:
At A Glance Author Lauren Contact Lauren@bme.anon When A month ago Artist Me, Myself, and I. Studio My house. Location Tampa, FL, USA. This was a [double, do I ever learn?] DIY piercing and I am in no way an experienced professional. I'm a stupid person with a thumbtack, a safety pin, and some Anbesol. Please don't do what I did.
THE EXPERIENCE:
I had wanted my smiley done for a long time before I decided to get it done. Well, a long time being about 4 months. So I did the usual: looked it up on BME, looked through photos, etc. So then, seeing as I'm a minor, it came time to ask the parental units. This is basically how that conversation went...
Me: Can I get a smiley piercing?
Mom: What's that?
Me: It's that little piece of skin right here between your upper lip and gum
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: You can't see those if you wear a barbell!
Mom: No.
Me: Please?
Mom: Not until you're 18.
Dad: Do you want to get kicked out of the house?
Me: No.
Dad: Alright then.
So I took the stupid teenager's way out and decided to do it myself. Armed with a thumbtack and an earring stud, I went in my room, turned on my music, and pretended do to do my algebra. Oh what fun I had. It took me nearly an hour to shove that motherfucker through. Probably because the tack was extremely blunt, for a thumbtack anyways. So I bled about two drops and pop, it was through. But that last layer was the spawn of the devil. Oh well, at least it's through! Happy happy joy joy OW. So I put the stud in, but all I had that fit it was a butterfly back. Cue the 'oh shit, it's visible' line.
Oh shit, it's visible.
So I took it out, extremely angry at myself. But I knew that I would do it again. Eventually. Well, a few weeks later, I was bored and my mom was asleep. So I made my second mistake. Cue the absolute best idea I've ever had. Also cue the sarcasm.
"Hey, maybe the safety pin is sharper than the thumbtack!"
..which it was.
So I stole my mom's Anbesol [which I hadn't used the first time] and ran to the bathroom. I applied the Anbesol with a makeup sponge, and shoved that motherfucking safety pin through. There was a dull pressure, but almost no pain this time. It bled about five drops this time and, you guessed it, pop and that pin was through. Cue the 'oh shit I only have the stupid butterfly back stud' line.
Oh shit, I only have the stupid butterfly back stud.
So I stuck it back in, without the back. Completely invisible. Yay. I could talk, suck on a...mint, smile, and laugh without seeing a thing. Perfect. But when it came time to eat, that's another story. Sadly, I had to remove it, as I knew I would have swallowed it in my sleep or while eating.
Since then I have asked my parents to buy barbells [14 gauge] for my ears as several of my friends wore them like that [Haha, yeah right. Guess what the other 3 in the pack were for.] but as expected...
Me: Can I...
Mom: No.
Dad: Do you want to get kicked out of the house?
Me: No.
Dad: Alright then.
THE NOTE PART TWO:
So hopefully in the future I will find someway to do this myself and have it stay, or less likely get it professionally done. Because I'm a dumbass. So don't pierce yourself like I did. If you do, at least buy a piercing kit and do it with sterile tools in a sterile environment, for your own sake. Don't copy some stupid person that you don't even know's procedure, especially if they tell you that they were wrong to do it. Please.
THE AFTERMATH...
Naturally I told a few people at school. They all seemed to have mixed feelings about me and my relationship with sharp objects. They all seem to think i've got some mental issues and they want to take me to this little place they say has nice, clean white walls. They call it the 'funny farm'...
Anyway, cue the reactions.
OMG EWW YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO THAT?!?!? - Katie
WTF is a smiley? Oh, ew. That's nasty. - Chelsea [I showed her the scar that lasted about 2 days]
Did that hurt? Wow. - Jessica
Woah man, that's crazy. - Rachel
Whatever man. - Alexa [I helped her do her own cartilage a few weeks before.]
Dude, that's sick. - Derek [The only one who knew what it was]
You're weird. - Everyone else
THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED:
Studs + Smileys = BAD.
Piercing with safety pins = BAD.
Piercing with blunt thumbtacks = EVEN MORE BAD.
Not sterilizing a single thing = ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN DO.