Alright so my boyfriend and a friend of mine take the 2 hour trip to Puncturehaüs, and we get there half an hour early and there's no line. This includes getting up at 8:00 am, which for me is just ridiculously early, especially since it was still technically winter break at that point. We decide to get some sushi while we wait, and it was damn good sushi. So we eat it, and head the two blocks to the shop, and it's so amazingly clean in there with all the awesome jewellery on the walls.
At A Glance Author Meg Contact Meg@bme.anon IAM Bottled_Destruction When A week ago Artist Matt Bruce Studio Puncturehaüs Location Vancouver, British Columbia
White, so very white in there, and the jewellery gleams, unlike some other shops I've been in. Not to mention, no barbells claiming how "dirty" or "nasty" the wearer is, nor was there a trace of the infamous Playboy Bunny, pot leaves or other notoriously middle school girl symbols.
After wandering for a while I talked to the guy behind the counter, and I find out he is Matt Bruce. I ask if Ruven's going to pierce me, he says no but he's available. I fill out the form, chat about jewellery, and pay. He sits me down, and tells me this will be a long process. In turn, I tell him I'm a drooler and we have a good laugh, which gets me relaxed.
So it feels like ten million years when he tells me how he feels bad because I have a tiny mouth with an disproportionately large tongue web, which is a huge obstacle in moving my tongue. He goes through three sets of clamps, finally gets a good spot, tells me to take a breath in and out, and through my tongue the needle goes. Obviously it hurt, but all I was thinking was.. wow there's a lot of spit in my mouth pouring all over the "bib" and some got on my jeans.
He cleans my face off, makes me gargle more mouth wash, and starts the process all over. The second one doesn't take as long, and by now I know what to do. Needle in, hold tongue out, put jewellery in, put tongue back in mouth, screw on second bead, Listerine, spit into cup, swallow.
But there's a problem... my second hole won't stop piercing and it looks much farther back. Matt sends me into the front room so the swelling from the clamps can go down a bit, and then we'll recheck the placement. I wander around, feeling slightly woozy and pace a bit. I talk to Ruven, Kreig goes across the street for a cup of ice, and we laugh over my slurred version of Thank You. Ten, maybe a bit less or more minutes go by and Matt finishes up with the other people and tells me to come back in.
I feel really tired by that point from the lack of sleep and the adrenaline rush dying down, not to mention I'm still bleeding. No idea how much blood I actually lost due to it being mixed with saliva, but it felt like a lot. He checks it out and determines he must have hit a tiny spider vein inside my tongue, but not to worry I won't bleed to death.
His patience is magnificent, he doesn't make it seem like I'm holding him up or anything, very grateful for that. Now begins the real pain- pressure holds. Dear Kelly Clarkson, that was beyond painful at some points. Feels like these go on at least an hour, but who knows?
He finally tells me he has to take the second barbell out, because he can't get me to clot. I'm sad, but he knows what he's talking about so who am I to argue? He takes it out, puts it in one of the little cups they use for the mouthwash and tells me in two weeks to come back and he'll repierce it. Phew, it's not lost forever.
More mouthwash, and more of him sticking his rather large hands in my little mouth and pinching my lovely bruised tongue until I feel almost faint. At this point, I'm just counting the lines on his shirt and how many colours his neck tattoo is. Finally, he just stuffs some tissues in my mouth, tells me to suck on them and see what happens.
Hurray! The bleeding is finally coming to a halt. More mouth wash and tissues and I'm finally ready to go, I thank them both again and he tells me again to come back in two weeks.
Since then I have eaten, given an oral essay for English and been asked if I suddenly became mentally handicapped over my slurred speech. I carry a water bottle everywhere, including to bed since I sleep with my mouth open and my tongue hurts when I wake up from being so dry. Still very black and blue under my tongue and on the web, but the soreness is dissipating quickly.
The End.